A Story Defining Love And Marriage - Buying Food

A wise man and his student were walking when they reached a bazaar (a street filled with hawkers selling food etc). Both of them were talking about philosophy when suddenly the student asked the wise man, “Can you explain what is love?”

The wise man smilingly refused to answer. Instead he took some money and handed it over to the student. He said, “Take this money and go buy me the most delicious food in this bazaar. However there is one rule, you must treat the street as a one way street, which means once you have passed a hawker stall and you did not buy any food, you cannot buy any food later from that stall. So choose wisely.”

The student excitedly went through the street. He was amazed with the variety of foods offered at the first stalls. He then wondered, “Maybe there are more delicious food further into the street. I’m sure”. He then walked deeper into the street, finding more delicious food at every stall.

After some time, he realized that the stalls at the end of the street doesn’t sell any food at all. They were selling clothes etc. He regretted not buying any food and had to return to the wise man empty handed.

The wise man told him, “This is Love. You keep looking for a better one, but you only realize it when you have already missed the person”

The student then asked another question, “What is Marriage then?”

The wise man said, “You still have my money don’t you? Now go buy us the most delicious food. The food must also be reasonably cheap. And of course, the same rule applies. It is still a one way street.”

The student went back into the street. This time he was very careful not to repeat the previous mistake. After about 10 minutes walking, he bought some delicious food for him and the wise man. He then returned back satisfied with that food.

The wise man then smilingly said, “This time you look for one that is just nice. You sincerely believe this is the best decision you have made. And even if there are more delicious cheap food out there, you will still be happy with this one. That, my son, is Marriage.”
/end story


I always look at things differently from other people.Looking at this story, I started to wonder to myself a very personal question. The answer I got was that perhaps, I didn't have the money to even start with to purchase anything from the food market. Choice is no doubt important, but the lack of something to start with to even be allowed to choose, is more important.

And what's the personal question I asked myself? Go figure...

dreaming about ln and itclub

I cant believe whatever I dreamt about last night. And its kinda true that you cannot control the way dreams are laid out in front of your eyes.

The first dream was about vsitc. Somehow, images of the people who have come and gone in vsitc came sprouting out into my mind. There didn't seem to be a storyline like the usual dreams have. It was totally random. Perhaps, its just a sign showing how random the people at vsitc are. And oddly enough, I dreamt about everyone, but not kayfong. Perhaps, he is not worth remembering to my brain.

the second dream was about ln. Not the mathematical ln, but another ln. I managed to abbreviate it into ln, which will allow me to conceal the identity of the person/object/symbol. This should be the second or third time dreaming about ln. I don't know why, but in my daily life, I have never even thought about ln, not even mentioned about ln. Contents of the dream are not to be mentioned here, but it just made me a little confused; why in the world did i dream of ln and not another??

Dreams sure are odd, they can make people whom you do not even think about, hear about, or see in your daily life appear.

Hospital and patience

I cant believe I saw this piece of lame joke in the game which I log in occasionally to see the new stuff and the new lameness. And this came from the creator of the game, a title truly well deserved with such a statement being stated on the website.

this is it:

We're aware of the intermittent connection problems. There are some hardware issues at the data center, and we're working on getting a solution in place. Thank you for making like a busy hospital and having lots of patience.

A Kid VS A Teen VS An Adult

This question popped into my mind yesterday out of the blue. What are the various responses I will get when I asked someone who has committed a mistake this, 'You made a mistake right?'

KID: hahahahaha... (Giggling away gleefully)


Teen: No (with uncertain eyes and a obvious lack of confidence)
ME: You sure?
(And after repeated questioning, the teen confesses)
Teen: YEAH!! I MADE A MISTAKE!! SO WHAT??!!



ADULT: NO. (Firmly and doesn't even bat an eyelid)
ME: Are you sure?
(After repeated questioning, the answer...)
ADULT: NO.


Thinking about the purity of children compared to the rest, I laughed to myself.
Ironically, we were once kids ourselves, and the answers given were so varied.

getting too old

I think my thinking is seriously getting too old. I'm not even past the halfway mark of my life- or maybe I have already but I don't know - and I am already thinking about death. For the second time in the life, I questioned death right in the face. And to great disbelief of many, the first real time when I thought of death was when I was about 4 or 5 years old. Given my limited experience of life at that age, the only question that popped up in my mind was this, 'What will happen to me when mummy's gone?'

I can still vaguely remember that time, when I thought for a split second, and then the next moment, crying whilst holding onto my mother's leg tightly.

After 18 years of my life, this question came back to me unexpectedly. Perhaps because I saw a sad fact of life; that many people are wasting away their lives, either by living in their own fantasies, or just plain slacking. Then I saw the irony. On the other side of the globe, not literally, there seemed to be people, who were aggressively trying to achieve their goals/dreams. Interestingly, both groups of people share a similar trait. They didn't seem to have the thought of death on their minds.

To the people who were/are wasting their lives away, do they realise the short period of time they have on this planet? And to the people who fight for their dreams, do they ever consider that at the journey's end, everything they had fought for would come to naught? Their faces do not even show a tint of 'death will eventually come my way and why am I still doing this?'

At the end of life's journey, will I still be able to remember whatever I have done/achieved? Perhaps. So, do I give up on achieving whatever I want? No.

I figured that it all boiled down to the experiences we gain when we undertake something. And, things not worth doing are those that do not give you the maximum enjoyment. With experiences we gain along the way, and while we may not be able to still know of whatever we had done during our life on Earth, its glad knowing that I made it fruitful. And perhaps, with the experiences we gain, we might just be able to impact upon another person's life.

Striving and achieving greatness is not an act for oneself. While it certainly enriches us, it cannot be achieved with the mentality of doing it for myself. The reason for our existence on Earth is to make this place better for the people around us and the next person that is going to replace my place in this world. And thus, achieving greatness is not for oneself, but for the betterment of the lives of others around.

the love of my life, part 1

the love of my life is here.


I hate to say it, but i rejected it.

from the bottom of my heart. sorry.



I left this post as part 1, hopefully there will be a part 2. But not in the near future.

messed-up medicine

there are many myths on the dangers of modern medicine, like they reduce bone mass, or have several severe side effects when taken or applied. A common drug that we take, Panadol, consists of paracetamol, which can be said to have bone mass reducing 'capabilities' according to 'ancient folklore from housewives'. Aspirin, a painkiller, as diagnosed by modern medicine can cause a build up of stomach acid, and must be taken with another medicine to reduce its devastating impacts it has on the stomach.

In my life, I have always been ill-advised not to take too much medicine of any kind. either way, I was told that taking medicines of any form is bad for health, somehow, due to the various side effects it has.

But then again, if taking it damages my health a little but i still get to live, why not? why choose to die when i can choose to damage my health a little for living longer??

these folklore and thinking, totally makes no sense.

what if its not new year today?

Since the start of yesterday, on 31 of december 2008, I have been waiting for an idiot/joker/clown to come tell the world that 'hey! we just missed the new year you dorks. New year's day was 3 days ago.'

for whatever reasons this joker might come up with, eg. calculation error. that we used to think that the year is 365 and 1 quarter days. But in fact, it might only be 365 and 1 eighth day. who knows! and we might already have missed the bloody countdown and even new year's day.

I just cant wait for this idiot to prove all the dorks who are celebrating new year's day wrong.

Happy new year?

Happy new year? i wonder if its really happy. what if its not a happy new year? what if its an eventful new year, or an exciting new year, or maybe sad new year. perhaps. it might even be ostentatious new year, or extravagant new year. why must it be happy. or perhaps, just perhaps, a jubilant new year. Or maybe an emotional new year, considering that there are still 2 groups of people crying. The first group belongs to the people in the financial markets, who has seen their net worth fall a hundred thousand times already. Maybe even more. The second group is the people who have been seen crying at the countdown party. god knows for what reasons!!

is it really a happy new year? and maybe we should not have wished everyone a happy new year, for it just might not be a happy new year.

challenging conventions, i prefer to say 'Let's celebrate and weep at the same time on the arrival of the new year. Who knows what might happen and what year it might be, but lets make it great/bad'

The Relationships

This post is merely meant to voiced my displeasure and show the disgruntled self to everyone on another of my failure. I'm sorry if the posts these days seems to get more and more reflective, perhaps its NS thats making me rethink about my life, my future, and my direction. Or perhaps, its just me having a heart full of tears.

Official school life is over for me, and that is a weird feeling. I cannot really explain it, for its a mix of many feelings. The 2 most obvious feelings are that of contradiction, where I feel that its a relief, whilst feeling a sense of missing school. The days of traveling to school in my parents' car, the days where I travel home with friends, the days where even though no one seems to be going home like you but you're bound to meet someone along the way, I will miss them all. The uniform that we always complain of, the constant nagging from the teachers(especially since I get these more than the average student), and the environment of being restricted by rules and regulations, I will miss them all. Without homework, without grades target to fulfil, without the need to fulfil expectations of teachers, I feel a sense of relief.

Not so recently ago, I changed my status to 'in a relationship' on facebook. The truth behind the change is because I don't feel ready all of a sudden to accept someone. If you think its somewhat of a deterrence, it is. Its always at the last moment and I back out. Its not a lack of confidence or anything of that sort. Just as that John Mayer song is titled,'I don't trust myself with loving you', its the exact same feeling I have inside me. I choose to believe that its much better for my other half to love me more than I love her. Until I can believe that I can trust myself with loving you, then maybe I might. Or maybe, I just might find someone that really loves me more than I love her.

Anyhows, I got my plan laid out for the next 20-30 years of my life. Maybe even longer. And this might involve me moving from nation to nation, border to border. And who knows, I might actually get someone from outside borders who actually loves me more than I love her.

Until then...