4th day of work

its the 4th day of work.i feel like i dont want it to end. even though i feel like sooo tired everyday after being hounded by puny litle kids every second, minute, hour and day. i hate to think tmrw will be the last day working with all the other leaders. especially those not working next week. i think judgin by today's emotions, next week will be a more emo week. i guess i will miss going over to opposite class to talk to coleman. he always has this 'dont-talk-to-me-i-am-stunned' look. he wont be working next week. sian ying i rmb helped me to clarify something by calling up her take 's' paper in chemistry friend. she's coleman's other leader. and she helped me without any qualms. i didnt ask her to call her friend. she did. so i guess she's kinda like a good friend. then to the B4 people. everytime go over to your class disturb u all until i malu. borrow things like free. borrow mop, broom. and walk home to the busstop. then to the class next door. whoa. u people super funny la. wth. i also can stun one. listening and seeing u gals make me feel stunned. really. will miss that stunned feeling. the rest... dont really know em. sad case. but true.

was in tao nan early. went to assembly area to slack. when everyone seem to arrive already, only yan zhen and shi sang was not present yet. then ms a asked me to call her. but suddenly, she and shi sang arrived. they were on the late bus. so they were late. i still rmb rushing around in the morning for so many things. food, first aid. then the most malu things happened. i didnt know that yan zhen went upstairs. so i was going upstairs to the camp commandant's room to get stuff. at the staircase blind spot, both yan zhen and i crashed into each other. luckily nothing more malu happened. not like she lying on me. me lying on her. we kissing like the shows do. i guess both of us were shocked. really shocked. she should be. it was maximum body contact and crashing.

went to orchid garden today. yan zhen went with one stack of notes on orchids. i was shell-shocked. i went like a hero. basically, empty handed. she seem super interested in orchids. jotting down notes. looking up close on the orchids. and the reason she gave me for being super attentive? that she dont know much about orchids. and i went blonk. cos i like her was totally unclear unsure about orchids. saw weird flowers, like the dancing ladies(golden shower). then went to the vip room. i guess my fav orchids are the vanda miss joaquim(obviously, national flower dey!), memoria princess diana, and the nelson mandela one for its complexities. walked through many places. oh ya. i also liked the vanilla orchid. it has a nice vanilla smell. i think i liked it. cool. a flower. a vanilla flower. ian was super confident at the garden la. he keeps saying it is his house. he dont want to leave. cos its his house. i had to drag him every. not forgetting the entourage i have behind me, entourage of kids. i am still amazed at how the camp commandant, ms herda can get the attention of the kids so well and not people like us. the kids listened well to her and not us. wth? why the difference? i am thinking about the reasons why even until now...

went to tao nan later. had lunch. went back to classroom and had little quizzes. sat next to yan zhen at the back and started chatting. she then asked me why people dont give orchids but give roses instead. so i just came up with some logic that roses are rare and the only 1 flower will grow on 1 stalk. not like the orchids. where many orchids will actually grow on 1 stalk. so the novelty of giving a rose increases. but i must admit that i wouldnt mind giving orchids to people. its kinda nice. i think yan zhen thinks so too. if not she wouldnt have asked me... and brought the kids to the play area. which is the assembly area. they as usual hautam me. played tic tac toe. then grace started to restart asking the same qn she's been asking since the orchid garden trip. exact qn without changing its contents. 'do u have a gf?' and my answer' yeah i have a grandfather, in fact i have 2, maternal and paternal.' she was super angry that i didnt answer her qn. so she kept asking. and i kept saying the same thing. she then told me it meant girlfriend. and then, rumours started to spread among the kids that my girlfriend is yan zhen. they started to get all so excited and stuff like that. they started to use their handphones to take photo of me and yan zhen. like some candid shots. and they started to get super excited. i was... stunned. then it became worse in class, when people started to offer their services as flower boy and flower girl for yan zhen and me! i was like' u cannot be flower girl, u can only go and sit down.' then andrea was like calling me 'cough cough'. chelsea hounding me. jamie keep singing wedding song. the occasional paul coming up to wish happy marriage. anna taking photos. ian calls me a baby for whining. grace keep saying 'yan zhen your gf arh!' bertha seems to hate me for something. while yan zhen and i were trying to come up with lyrics and the song for tmrw performance. even until dismissal, they were still saying the same things.

another funny thing today. a parent came to look for A4 blue. my partner class. i ran round the whole sch. and then to the camp commandant's room to find out that they were still out. wasted my time siah. wasted my breath siah. wasted my stamina siah. and to think i went call shi sang. but she didnt pick up either. and this led to the next funny issue. wasted my breath and time running around looking for them siah.

then shi sang. she damn funny la. make me stunned. talk to her make me feel like dying. an excerpt of the phone call.
shi sang: hello, who is this that called me just now?
me: it me, jun jie. i just now tried to call u to ask u where u guys are. coz a parent want to give the violin to her kid.
shi sang: huh? lion?
me: wth? lion? no!!! violin!
shi sang: oh... hahaha
me: hahahaha

lame siah.

then later went down to assembly area. saw sheena and shi sang. the first thing i rmb i said was lion. and we started to laugh. lol siah. lion? lion=violin? hahahahahaha. i stunned.

then we wanted to plan for our leaders' performance tmrw. in the end i ended up telling lame stories. shi sang as usual was like 'what crap!' cos my story was the monk one. then the next one was a random story of a man who was asked to tell stories. but he ended up not being able to tell anymore stories. and so, the moral of the story? 'dont tell too many stories, cos the world dont have enough stories to tell.' i thought of this story on the spot. expected a response like 'what crap!'

then yan zhen who was staying around all the time left. sheena, shi sang and me left soon after. those 2 gals went to the classroom. while i chased after yan zhen. about 6-8 metres away from yan zhen, she turned back and looked at me. i was shocked. how she know i was running behind her siah? so far away. she paused for me to catch up and we left school. talked a little along the way. haha. she needed to go out so she went to another bus stop. then i went home after that.

i got a shock just now. yan zhen called my house. i knew it was her from her voice. but i was shocked and speechless. she thought i was asleep so like lifeless. i guess i need to sleep soon. need to meet yan zhen early tmrw morning...

work

its been the 3rd day at work. so fast. and tmrw will be the 4th day. so fast. it was good job. with free food, free trips to go outside. go to other places. so cool. and get to do so many things. only that i get mobbed everyday. those kids i teach mob me every single day. 1st day was still ok, but the 2nd day onwards, it seem to get worse. i get pestered now by kids not from my class. so scary. these kids seem to know me even though i dont know them. and the worst part, i get mobbed by both boys and girls. and i must say mostly girls. and i am NOT a paedophile.

yesterday went out to animal farm and AVA. saw animals, basically. and my other partner yan zhen, she seem kinda scared of animals. and talking about yan zhen. i must say she is the main catalyst to my nice stay at dvc. later will talk about her in about 1-2-3 to as many as i need paragraphs. even so, i still think its not enough to thank her. but i was glad for one thing at the animal farm. in which i was no longer mobbed by kids but a group of full grown geese. and these geese were making a hell load of noise. they were hell noisy. but i must say throughout the whole trip i was standing in front of all the kids and protecting them from animals. especially those fierce ones. cos yan zhen also scared of them. haha. but it was a fun trip. with mr ng, ms aishah, shi sang, sheena, yan zhen and the kids. i think the most prominent would be that of yan zhen choking on water. weird. but she was coughing uncontrollably. i was trying to make sure she felt alright. after a while, she seemed ok. and that's great.

then today got mobbed again, by kids. they all want the popsicle thing. the water thing which u freeze to get ice sugar water. yane and i were frantically stopping these kids from taking more popsicles. it was pure crowd control nonsense. i wished we had smoke bombs or something like that. kids dont like food. they like junk food. i can attest to that. then i as usual get mobbed by kids. and today's the cheer day. we didnt do anything. only ms a did it. (aiya, short form!) and today was a weird day. came to work at tao nan by parents car. closed the door and smashed my foot with the door. felt so pain so i rested a while at the bus stop. then saw shi sang. huh? she walk different way from me? i thought my way was the fastest way into the compound. and i was. today was a ultimate debacle with yan zhen. we had a little argument, a polite and kind one over some chemistry logic. well well well. my chem sucks and she's from hwa chong. so by right i should believe whatever she says. but something is stopping me from agreeing with her. somehow. i have to trust my hunch. and after some research, it seemed like its a whole set of explanation altogether. and today, yan zhen told me keep her phone and wallet for her. i am more than happy to do so. haha. oh ya. i still dont have her phone no. after a few days of interaction i still dont have her no??? and the other leaders phone no and contacts. shall try to ask from them tmrw. and also, i mopped the floor like 3 times today. aiya. so many problems. so many mopping.

will be looking forward to tmrw and fri. thinking about next week also. i think it will be fun with sheena also. hope so. and also, today, when i was doing my rounds to make sure no one is left in sch, i happen to suddenly walk behind sheena and shi sang. they didnt know till a while later. and guess their topic of discussion??? ME! wth? seems weird. a little excerpt below.
sheena: next week i think i working with him u know.
shi sang: the paper wrote that
sheena: he actually quite funny. haha. very funny person.
shi sang: hahahahaa

its something like that. should be. haha. didnt know i was that funny.

talking about yan zhen. well, she is one good person. great person. i think she will be a very good friend. she showed me how to play with the kids. just like yane taught me kids crowd control. but i must say she is much better. she somehow takes a lot of stress off me. i dont have to bother too many things. we have this kind of chemistry(not a pun). she kinda understands me. or at least i understand her. she taught me to love the pureness of kids. that's weird cos she didnt tell me this logic directly. i saw it through her actions. and she's smart, obviously. i suddenly dont know what to say of her. she is sooo great! i must say that i will miss her after this week. she cannot work next week cos she got prom on tues. so she cannot work next week. so sad lor. hope to work with her next time. if there is a chance to... i will want to work with her again. and i must say that i will miss her VERY MUCH. haiz. i cannot express how important and useful she is to me. words cannot express as much as i want to. its not about the number of words, not about the number of expressions and definitely not about the number of paragraphs that can be used to describe her. with someone of such a great character. maybe great is not even fitting to be used to describe her. so... hey yan zhen! i will miss u and hope to see u often even after this fri!


wow. what a long post. i feel like crying. somehow.

on a lighter note

little wing. a song that i have been trying to figure how the god of guitar jimi does it... such a crazy song with so much funny harmonics. but in true, he didnt use much harmonics. maybe even zero. and that's the weird part. if i can accomplish this on my strat. whoa.

have beeen going crazy with this video.billie jean. michael jackson. its like i am so astounded by the crowd. crazy crowd. michael havent start singing or dancing they are already screaming. i think there were some footage of people crying and going crazy. and all these for just one person. the king of pop.

these 2 things i want to achieve. so hard. but then again... i dont know what to say.

have been viewing several design stuff. graphics and stuff. and these brought me to think of my blog design. i rmb that i was angry with graphics and stuff. somehow. just wanted to rebel against lousy designs from leading designers. just because there is a CK, Boss, Nike, Adidas, people flock to buy products with lousy designs from them. and so, i decided to just remove all the fanciful design elements from this blog. and pronto. white. minimal. plain. and the worse part. people still want to get it.

thought about something.

forget it.

crazy day

i must admit i was crazi in the previous post. but those i said were real.and that's the crazy part.

my index finger on my left hand is injured. its like blood clot in my finger so i cannot clench my fist. i cannot bend that finger, apply pressure and touch that finger. it would be all so pain.so typing is a problem. shall keep it short and sweet.

since my finger got hurt, i have been unable to play the guitar and the piano. it seems all so fated aint it? when i shouted out loud that i was to keep myself occupied with my guitar and piano to forget some things, it just happened that my finger got injured. without occupying myself, i started to think about more things...

i messaged u something. and i didnt get a reply. its been almost 3 days since i msged u. first it was because i was afraid of your response. now i am left wondering where are u? i am waiting for your response. waiting hard for that answer from u that i know will make my day.

went to dhoby ghaut today for 4E class outing. it was so good meeting these old mates again. especially these 4 exotic people. went to swensens and had.... dinner. what else? it was about 18 people at swensens, with john coming 59 mins late and jaymond arriving just after we finished our dinner. john was expectantly late. as usual. but it was the trip there that was horrifying for me.
the train was crazily crowded with people. i boarded at eunos when it was less crowded but still no place to sit. i just stood by the train door. then at aljunied, there was this lady, i presume she's still quite young. not ugly but not pretty either. at least for me. she was standing unusually close to me, with her back to me. then there was 2 indian guys standing next to me on my right. the door is on my left. as we passed more stations, more people came in, and the lady in front of me started moving back towards me. i was feeling rather uneasy already felt even worse. i also started notice my breathing. people who know me well enough know that i have asthma and tend to breathe deeply. then i started to like breathe deeply at the lady's back. she was wearing something like a bare back kinda thing. it started to feel uneasy and i looked up to breathe. it was a weird sight but i had to do it if i dont want to be charged with being horny after breathing down a girl's neck. then all of a sudden, she leaned all the way back on me! i was like wth~ wth~ i could feel her back on my CHEST! i was panicking. but i was too shy and the train was to crowded for me to say something like, ' i'm sorry, but u leaning on me is making me feel like a giggolo.' and with that, i bear with the lady lying down on my chest, which is equivalent to lying down on me, only vertical for almost 3 stations.

such social trauma!

crazy like FLEA

i must say i am crazy. after a flurry of events. anyone will go crazy. i will too...

i actually changed the location of this blog for a few hours. changed it at about 12pm today. and just changed it back. at 2326. indeed, my blog did went somewhere else. just like me. i too went somewhere else for a while. for a breather.needed to think. and after a weird meeting with the boa people, finally got some things sorted out. they dont know what's wrong with me. just me looking at them and my problems were... partially solved.

i think its getting more and more severe. i seem to hear people i see talking to me. they all seem to be looking at me and telling me things. some good most bad. i hate their glare. dont know what's happening to me. i guess i really need a shrink to sort things out. something is really wrong with me now.

i used to think i had split personality. i still think so. it wasnt so severe the last time. now i think its rather severe. its really too extreme. i seem to get too emotional over certain things these days. just a minor issue that many would not think it would be an issue would mean a big problem to me. maybe that's the problem that's causing me to get more and more sick. mentally.

actually, i had this weird dream. that i am not human. only a toy that is here on earth to help the people that need help. i am like a saviour. a fallen one. it seemed like someone with some bright light and a weird but royal-looking tree came to tell me of my true purpose here. i was to fulfil that and my job would be done. then after a while, i rmb that i started to hate people. crowds of people. i dont know y but i feel weird with a large crowd of people. i started to disbelieve in people. then i had another weird dream of someone telling me of my likened past, where i was supposed to help people, but soon grow to hate them for their vices. i seemed to be the last 'saviour' to leave the human race, after the rest of the 'saviours' had all given up hope on humans. i was the only one still believing in them. in the dream in the end, i left. and when i woke up, i happened to find out that my dream was the exact history as written of Virgo, the virgin lady. i didnt make this up. its real. and its horrifying for me. i still cant forget.

i guess that i am just getting crazier by the day.

guess nobody knew what happened to me. even i dont know.


it all seemed so fast. it ended faster then i wanted it to. it ended not the way i wanted to. guess i am not really here to BE a human being. i came with a purpose.

and with that. i guess i gotta annouce that i am officially emotionless. i used to have a flame inside me. it was big. then it became smaller. and now, its officially gone.

if dry ice can ever become hot, i guess i will too.


guess i should just keep myself to my piano and my guitar. i will forget everything. just take it that i was the first to break our promise. its not because of u or anything. its just a resolution i came up myself. when i am no longer in the same sch as u, i will not claim that i ever knew u. either way, i dont feel anything now.

i suddenly feel lke cycling for as long as my legs can bring me.

somehow.

until then, its just my guitar, piano and my bike.

plan

my original plan has backfired. it didnt give me the results i would have wanted.

that is if i ever had a plan...








to the person my guitar is named after:
i really hope things would have gone the way i wanted. guess i still have to bide my time.

back

hi. i'm back. back from overseas. expected something big to happen. well, nothing much really happened. nothing to my expectations. my guess is that u dont know anything. really dont know. that may be good, that may be bad. i dont know. just wait till everything ends.

went to genting after a long hiatus in which i have not been there for almost 3 years. maybe more. i dont know. but seriously, nothing much changed. i am really disappointed. no upgrading, no new stuff. the paint on buildings looks old and dirty. well, if they cant build new stuff, or maybe change some things around, at least get a paint job done. first world plaza looks like a piece of junk.

i must say that going there was sorta a waste of time. didnt see much, couldnt do as much as i wanted to. always had delays in going anywhere. when it took just 15 mins to get to the hotel from first world plaza, it took more than 1 and a half hour to reach our final destination. its all accredited to my family walking and looking at stuff. they made the decision to go back to the hotel, but it was them again to delay and not return to the hotel. weird contradiction.

and i made groundbreaking movements during the stay there. i should be featured as a groundbreaker. at the very tender age of 17, i actually entered a casino. and i took home a chip as a souvenir. and somehow, no security guard or casino personnel chased me out of the casino. weird. and moreover, i was staring at the casino people looking at what they do. one thing i must compliment them for their mathematical skills and their card dealing skills. i was appalled by it. totally appalled. it was too fast and accurate. guess they must have gone through years of training.

it was full of indians and malaysians there. weird english and chinese were spoken. the indians were funny, it was as if the whole of india knew each other. they were like waving to every indian they saw along the way. they should rename genting to smoking highlands. it was full of cigarette smoke. wth man. even when they wrote signs everywhere that smoking is prohibited. it was lawless.

but one thing to note, the buses that people take to go genting,(u cannot fly there), had been upgraded. they now have bigger room space, tv to watch movie. personalised. maybe cos i too long never go already. dont know any new changes and developments. i guess that was the only good thing.

i thought i go there can see some cute girls. got a little disappointed though. until the second last day there then i saw one. sadly but true. she went there with her bf. and it was kinda weird, her bf is much shorter than her. then on the coach back to singapore, there was one girl that caught my attention. she looks kinda familiar. somehow. like i knew her somewhere before but forgot where. either way, shes pretty cute and stuff. i hope to kinda see her again. but then again, singapore's one hell of a populated country, no way i am gonna see her again. but i hope i will. i hope. then maybe i can figure out who she is after i chat with her. but hey, i gotta admit that the whole time i was there, there was only one person in my mind. and that is the person my guitar is named after.

your face keeps appearing in my mind. somehow.

watched the curse of the golden flower, bridge to terabithia, and half of school of scoundrels. the movies were not bad. note that i mentioned half a movie. that's cos the tv suddenly switched off. sad. bridge to terabithia was full of literary techniques. but it was good, provided u understood literature.


decided to start a riddle with u. u aint reading my blog till u solved that riddle. the riddle will give u all the clues u need to get here.

and yeah. i wished i could name a fender after u. but somehow i couldnt afford one. until then, your name will be the name of my guitar...

what a long post. lets get started on the riddle.

GUITAR!

and, i got a new electric guitar last fri(2 NOV 07). and it is my first. a squier strat. cool eh. went to ebenex to test it out. then bought a laney 30W amp, together with my strat. and the nice david delivered it to my home... he said it was on his way home. he kinda stayed in punggol. somewhere near where i stay. the guitar sounded cool at ebenex. it stayed cool.

yane named his fender strat cheryl. dont know if i spelled that right... its something like a good omen to name guitars. eric clapton named his blackie, george harrison named his rocky. and mone gotta have a name too. then at the shop, chris saw said that most guitars were named after girl's name. when he said that, i jokingly said i wanted to name my guitar chris saw. but i already knew what name i was gonna give it...

it will be revealed at the bottom of this post.













this is the last photo of my guitar. it doesnt look like that yet but it will. (i guess). grabbed this photo from shiyun... she doesnt know. but thks.



these 2 ppl have so much influence on my life. i never had people crying for me before... they did. i never had people who had made me so happy before. this is kinda like a tribute to these 2 magnificent ladies.

and its name? it will be joanna and never will that name of my guitar change. its for life...

and to u out there. i dont want u sad anymore... told u i will make u happy.... this is FOR U!

animation, technical, problems.

i was asked by ms tan(PW/CHINESE teacher) to make some flash animation for her wedding. really want to make it... but then again, when i got home to test drawing and doing some animations, it failed horribly. the cartoony like pictures were like crap. guess i cant really draw well...

U!

saw u again at the staircase in sch... my fault. i didnt want to face u. sorry.

then saw u after that staircase encounter in the library. dont know if u saw me. well, u never did i guess...

went out of the library to grab some stuff, your bag was next to mine. and well, u never did realise that did u?


my knack for detail is so uncanny...

i gotta admit its my fault for not looking at u. somehow i felt u didnt want to look at me either. dont know y its become this way. realised u were sad. dont want to bother u anymore. really... only wish u can be the previous person i knew before.

guess its really fate playing tricks on us...

photos

The following pictures contains in chronological order...
1) My old bike. In fact, my first bike. so sad it had to be disposed of. gd bye then.
2) my short working stint at millenia tower. i guess i was the youngest dude there. but i was there to help my father. and guess what, the toilets were so dead drop gorgeous that i had to snap some shots of it. and to u guys out there... its cool to work in a bank with such nice toilets.
3) ok... there are some scandalous pictures here. not taken by me... its supposed to be shots of the study gang at vs. in one of the shots, i guess i was in there, so i couldnt be the one taking those shots. its my cam-whoring friends. specifically those 2 dudes in the scandalous shots of themselves. u will know what i mean...
4) in between all those shots are 2 shots taken of a doraemon lantern. it kinda lame hanging on the ceiling. so i took a shot of it too.

memories...

are...

meant...

to...

be...

kept...

i'm gonna spam

i'm gonna spam. watch it...

Feeling like a concrete mixer and a blender

a concrete mixer mixes things up and the things are commonly called cement. its hard and difficult to mix. a blender just smashes things up. and these things are commonly called bubble tea. bubble tea lovers pls give thks for this wonderful machine.

and guess what, i feel like i am in both a concrete mixer and a blender. i guess i dont have to explain exactly how i feel. u smart people out there will know.

saw something lame as usual:
The Terminator (1984) - Arnold Schwarzenegger, The Matrix (1999) - Keanu Reaves, The RETAINED (2007) - Charles Chang

meyerside only has 2 teams: Liverpool and Liverpool Reserves.
(EVERTON?)

so many things happened. OP finished on thurs. MT finished on Mon. and bought a new guitar on fri. a new amp too. so many things to say. maybe tmrw then i write here.

look out for pics of my new electric guitar. been playing with it for the past hour. fingers kinda hurts.

tmrw then.


and for u... haiz.


tmrw then

JK

JK just JK