something tt's long OVERDUE!

i came back from the dead to collect something overdue. from the king of late. john cheo.

messi

i am getting messier. messier than lionel messi. my life is spiralling downwards. i dont get hit by things. i dont get affected by many things. i think i am getting crazier. this will just be a random post. so just ignore this...

the most life wants to throw things at me, the more i want to throw back things at life. i am leading a cursed life. believe it or not. i am given a lot of things. but i am not given the quality of the things i am given. when i think i am getting out of this cursed life, i get back into it again. its like the mafia. u cannot get out once u get in. i think i got the whole package in something, but in the end, i just get disappointed to find that i will be lacking the most important bit of all.

'success is the ability to go from one failure to another without a loss of enthusiasm'. a famous maxim as spoken by winston churchhill. i... i will admit that my dream has failed. a loss of enthusiasm? no.

suddenly i dont know what's wrong with my life. this has nothing to do with anything and anyone. its a personal struggle. until i get out of it... i will never feel good.

this will be an official announcement. i seek the help of everyone. dont bother with me and dont try to talk to me until i say u can. even if u want to try to talk to me, i will not reply u. just treat it that i am dead. dead. dead. except when i need to talk to my team. other than them, just treat me as a dead person.

i feel like deleting all my msn contacts, and all my phone contacts.


after a post of announcement. i will say again that i will ignore everyone. it will not help if u try to look for me or call me. for, i am dead.



i think i am crazy.

haha.

forever

after a strong few days of deliberation. i realised that i cannot bear to put this down. yan zhen told me to forget her because she's are a problematic person. i cannot... i just cannot. u can kill me, torture me, force me to drink some soup to forget everything, but, i just will not forget yan zhen. i will keep my promise to yan zhen. i will NEVER leave yan zhen alone. NEVER. and its not only about the promise. for, because i know that this time, the love's right. =) just as i am listening to forever by kenny loggins. for something's that's so right, its not really possible for me to put it down. even if i do make up my mind to leave it alone, my heart cannot bear to do so.

i believe that everyone have a dream to pursue for a fairytale kind of life. where they know its THEIR world and no one can stop them from doing anything. but, the road's long and winding. it would take some a lifetime to achieve it. while most will just stop short at the gate of such a fairytale-like world. it would be much easier if someone will help you in your quest to enter this fairytale-like world. someone who's willing and someone who also believes in such a fairytale like world.

i have decided to wait for yan zhen to be ready by the side of the long and winding path of life to this fairytale-like world just for yan zhen and i. i will be waiting to see when yan zhen want to

follow me... i have a shortcut to that wonderful world. if only yan zhen would want to follow me. just like the song forever, i will be waiting. forever.

casualties

this post is named casualties. casualties. means people suffering. which i really dont like to see. this post may be named casualties, but really, i came into blogger the 3rd time today not about casualties. its not supposed to be the gist of this post. but somehow, when i heard the word casualties on the music was listening to, i suddenly remembered something. its scary. today, my mum told me to start becoming careful of whatever decisions i may make within these few years. when i was young, she brought me to a fortune teller. and it seems that this period of time(chinese age 18-19) are the most crucial years. meaning starting from this year, since the chinese calendar is much faster than the english one. whether i would go up or go down depends on these few years. this is not the important part. the important part is that my mum remembered that these years will be marred by a death of a loved one. someone close to me will die... i dont wish to think of myself as an unlucky person. but things these few years are seemingly telling me something like this. i need someone by me to comfort me. but then again, i dont wish for anyone whom i love to come near me, for fear that they may be the one dying. i think i should go hide somewhere these few years. away from loved ones. i can choose not to believe such things. in which normally i dont. but in such serious cases, where life and death is just 1 step away, its really better to believe than not believing. i love to challenge against what our fate holds for us. for i believe its us that build out destiny. but in such a scenario, i really dont know what to do. for the 1st time...

should i run and hide? or should i wait on and challenge fate, waiting for that particular loved one to die... its kinda cruel. i dont want to be cruel. really.

the more i think about this, the more i feel that my life belongs to the F1 track. where life and death are just 1 accident away. i dont seem to treasure my life. its a cursed life. i wouldnt have felt much if it cursed me. but its cursing others. and its making me devalue my life... i should race till i can race no more, either till my life ends on the track.



this post was supposed to be about a qn that suddenly came into my mind. its not a qn that i pose for myself. it doesnt seem like it. it seems like the qn was posed for yan zhen. hmmm. the qn? the exact quote that led to the thinking point,'actually i think the lock can be opened by the right person that comes along'. during the phone call yesterday, it seemed like the lock was opened already. and it seemed evident that i was the person opening it. does that mean i am the right person? i dont know... i dont have the answer. for, this qn was not meant to be for me.

am i the right person?

only time will tell and only yan zhen will know.

temptations

temptation is something really strong. in fact, it can also be bought.(there is a temptations cake shop at katong there) temptations can make u do things that u wouldnt think u would do in a million years. or maybe even 10 million years. temptations sound like a bad thing. but then again, how can temptations be defined as bad without first the existence of good temptations. there ARE good and bad temptations. and most of the time. such definition of good and bad can only be derived from the person who is being tempted. good temptations should never be allowed to slip past your fingers. never. u would know its something good when its something u can never forget and that it never fails to bring a smile to your face.

and indeed. phone calls are a marvel. u wouldnt know when to stop talking. i didnt. somehow. didnt feel the need or the want to put that phone down.

somehow today, i felt something in me. it didnt feel good. i tried to convince myself that it was something good,even though the first thing it occurred to me was that it was something bad. and i tried to see what it really meant. and the way to find out, was to play my piano. thinking about what piece to play, i just randomly struck some notes on the piano. it sounded heavenly, till i hit a group of notes. it made me play something. and i played sundial dreams. and soon after, interpretations of how i should play the piece came bit by bit to me. i intinctly followed whatever my heart told me to. and i played the best piece with overflowing emotions in my life... my interpretation of the piece? 1st stanza: i started a with a soft touch, signifying the tiny dream within myself. 2nd stanza: the dream became a part of me and i started to pursue it, signified by a stronger touch to the piece and a strong belief that it will come true. 3rd stanza: the unexpected result of dreaming. my dreams didnt come true. but nonetheless, i continued to believe. 4th stanza: i began dreaming about getting what i wanted, but this time, with a little restrain as heard by sustaining certain notes in this stanza. i held back my dreams a little, with fear it will not be achieved. but anyhow, i still continue to believe. 5th stanza: my dreams took a downturn. it seem all clear to me that achieving it would be beyond my means, as heard by the fierce realisation of myself and what i can achieve. i played the notes strongly at times, signifying what i felt. and the last stanza: i played it with the slightest of touches, signifying that i have foreseen the end of my dream and what i want to achieve. played with full of disappointment and sadness, but nonetheless, i braced myself to accept the truth and played the piece to its completion. another reason for the slight touches was to signify the fond memories i would keep with me for the rest of my life. this is almost similar to sunset - despite going down and not appearing for the next 12 hours or so, the sun still exhibits its enthusiasm to shine as brightly as it can, giving us the most beautiful view of itself, before it 'dies' and goes down for the moon to appear. (note: 1st, 2nd, 4th, and 6th stanza are a little similar, with slight variations. 3rd and 5th stanzas are totally similar.) it was so emotional that i lost track of myself during the piece. while playing, i lost myself.

and i felt that it totally exhibited whatever i was feeling. or something that my inner self wanted to feel but not my outer self. only 1 person will know what my dream is.(excluding myself).

hmmm. yan zhen! never doubt whatever u may feel. for your heart will never lie to u. u may have used emotions to determine a preliminary answer. it may not be whatever that i wanted. but! is the preliminary answer the right answer that u are seeking for? not what i am seeking for. for me,is not of much importance. but rather, the answer that u are seeking for...

and i was something came over me this morning. if love is something that will not bring u heads over heels and forget what u are doing, then it is not love. its not about choosing not to go through a love that will not make u forget yourself, for such a thing do not exist in our world. but rather, its about being ready to make yourself forget about yourself, make yourself heads over heels over your loved one. its all about how ready u are... yan zhen... if u really aren't ready, there really is no point in me trying to force u to be ready. its just not my character to do so. even if i were to force u to be ready, u wouldnt be... along the long and winding road to building that wonderful fairytale-like world for the both of us, i will be waiting by the road for u to say that u are ready to take that shortcut i have inside me, with me to that magical fairytale-like world we have been dreaming of. i tried to remain like a sane guy to you. but seriously, i have already gone head over heels over you. me typing this just shows how crazy i have become...



one last thing. love is a bad salesman or saleswoman. it will not persist and keep knocking on your door till u open the door and consider whether u want to get love. it will knock once and that's it. good bye and farewell.

i am still knocking on your door, waiting for u to open that door to say u want to get love. but for how long i will knock is something even i dont know. i may knock forever... or i may suddenly just stop knocking the very next minute...

i really wish to knock on your door forever.

mind pairing

its almost impossible to know what someone else is thinking when the person is very far away from u. but it wasnt impossible for me. either its psychic as what yan zhen says. or its just all fated to be like this. it just seems that our minds are linked. somehow. somewhat.


i think its just all fated.

bad conversationalist

i am a bad person at talking on phone. really. i make people think that i am a bad conversationalist... or maybe i am. and i think i am.

just after talking so much on the phone, i have just learnt or mastered the art of phone conversation. maybe about 10%. but i think that's good enough. for me to go on very far.

burnt or roasted or grilled

hmmm. i usually dont start with hmmm. but indeed, hmmm, is a magical word. it changes people perception. makes people think that the person saying 'hmmm' is thinking. but is the person thinking at all, or just plainly stalling for time? in this case, i think i just did both. i used this time to type this paragraph to think about what to type later on and i think... i might have just wasted your time.=)

sat. sat i can tell u. sat i can tell u was an awesome day. never felt like it could be better. there were strong winds. but there was just that irritating yet at times beautiful sun that will ruin things around. and with such a nice day, it was best that i get myself out there and enjoy the nice weather. and to add to the lovely weather, i had a lovely companion too. what a lovely mix!

tried to rush to punggol end as fast as i could. but the bike was the limiting agent. i was like 'faster!'. the bike told me,'hey boss! i cannot go any faster. if not i will spoil.' and thus, it took me a longer than expected time to reach there. saw yan zhen smiling and waiting there at punggol end. hmmm. i didnt expect myself to be late. but i was late... haha. parked my bike and on to the beach. with such a small beach, u would expect little people. and indeed, there were very very very little people. as usual... punggol end is significantly underated. maybe cos there's nothing to do there except slack at the beach and enjoy the winds like we did. but really. its really underated. and then there's this big sign with the 'SALE' word on it. i would have bought this land if i had the money. but i didnt. so...

we walked on the beach and talked. and walked past 2 man fishing. and 1 of the dude there managed to catch a fish when we walked past. i guess we were their lucky charms. haha. looked at really fairytale like trees. in the end, settled for a sitting spot at some rock. then it became too hot. and went off to the other side, where they have more winds. sat on the sands. while the breeze just blew upon us. and the sun, being the unkind guy that day, burnt us. =(. tried to cover the sun for yan zhen. didnt seem to work very well. so in the end, she also got sunburnt. but i think her sunburn more serious than mine. and to think i couldnt do much about it...

got a call from yan zhen today morning. think i disappointed her. not that i didnt want to talk with her, but i feel too terrible. there were times during the call when i tried to brace myself up and to make me forget about feeling sick. but it was just too much for me to take. i had dizzy spells and stuff. couldnt really think straight. got really touched and felt that i let her down when i saw her smses. i have ALWAYS longed for someone to stay beside me whenever i feel really sick. and i felt really really happy when u said u thought staying by me would make me feel better. and i really did feel better=) i couldnt have felt any better so soon without u calling me or me knowing that u wanted to stay by me when i felt sick. and i felt very happy when u said u called to hear my voice. it was... exhilarating. let me just admit that i am not a good conversationalist on the phone. i dont know what to say and what to do. i feel lost without looking at the other person i am talking to. i thrive on the other party's expressions and eyes. i read their expressions and eyes. AND... if i didnt like going out, i wouldnt have gone out to meet u so many times. =) still thinking of 2 things, when u said u were dreaming about me the whole night. and when u said u called me to hear my voice. and i think with my responses to u today, i have totally and utterly disappointed u. its just that i didnt feel well to talk. and i feel very very very apologetic becos of that. u made my day and i ruined yours... =( in short. i am a bad conversationalist. and a very sick person who spoils people's moods. and i'm really sorry. if u ever want to call me again, and if i am sick, i will try my very very best to boost my mood and say something to u. =)

i really wished i could have been out with you to buy the gifts u wanted to buy...

and to my lovely companion on that lovely day, whom i have disappointed this morning, get well soon from sunburnt!



home is a lovely place. but the outside world is a lovelier place.=)

peaceful or blissful and your heart will always lead you home

your heart will lead you home. always. if it ever fails u. tell me. i think your heart needs repairing.

walked a great deal of roads. u know the song purple light. where there's a line that goes, with my backpack and my buddy and me. or the army version, with my rifle and my buddy and me. and on thurs, i had my bicycle and yan zhen and me. this is actually the 1st time i had someone to accompany me to walk such a great deal of roads. i feel honoured. happy. and ???. - some things cannot be described in words. i went there with only the picture of my grass patch and no clues on how to get there except that its further down from imh. down is really a subjective word. for me, down was down towards jalan kayu. for yan zhen, she thought it was down towards buangkok. hmmm. down. down. a word of great subjectivity.

it was rainy, muddy and perfect for walking. reasons in order of importance.
reason 1: i had yan zhen walking with me.
reason 2: it was windy.
reason 3: i knew that if i were ever to get lost, i would have someone by me and a song to get both of us home.
walked from imh 'down', making yan zhen feel like she's walked for nothing just to meet me, thinking that down was buangkok direction. my fault. i didn't know down would be so subjective.

we walked a great deal. talked a great deal. it was kinda weird though. i thought she wanted to talk. since she smsed me first that she was bored, cos her friends up to funny stuff. i was like, u sure ur friends are doing whatever they say they are? but i didnt tell her that. its just the kind of feeling i get when i hear something unbelievable. and since i typed it here. she would now know...=) walked past funny places, gas station, weird houses, and really beautiful houses. the weird houses were really spooky. there were chairs and tables in weird places. with practically nobody in these houses. and then there were really gorgeous houses. with rooftops and all. and now, one more thing to add to my dream house. a rooftop. and now for the spoiler. i once read this story, where the protagonist says that he has a dream house. but he wouldnt be disappointed if he didnt get it even till the day he dies. drama... but! he wouldnt mind cos its not called a 'dream' house for nothing.

and finally, after roads, funny stuff, and weird stuff. the grass patch was reached. or rather, we conquered the grass patch. it would have been better if i had a flag, which would write, 'yan zhen and jun jie was here... FIRST!' haha. too bad we couldnt sit on the grass. something i often do to slow my life down after a long hectic week in sch, rushing about my projects and life. and that day, i had someone accompanying me to slow down life. our lives were dramatically slowed. i didnt feel the need make my life faster. in fact, i felt like i want to stay there forever. build a new house there with my own hands. or maybe just stay in that little magical forest at the end of the grass patch. it sure looked magical to me. either way, i wanted to stay there forever. no obligations, but i wonder if yan zhen felt the same and wanted to stay there forever too.

no stars, just a cloudy sky. and we left the place we first started out for. wanted to try a new route. so went a long way and ended up at sengkang east way. after walking past acres and acres of forests. maybe not forests. just plain grassland. these places are highly coveted by me. the thought of singapore being totally filled up with buildings, as seen in the cbd area. hmmm. i feel like. this place maybe doesnt belong to me. walked a long way, darting water puddles, mud puddles. and i felt bad hearing yan zhen lying to her mom. but then again, she might have a point there. or maybe she has a point there. my inference from her actions. y complicate things when it aint so complicated in the first place? ignorance is bliss. how true. how true. and this somehow leads me to think about the ex-victorian who raised a point of 'why should we fix something that is not broken?'.

the song. the trust. these were the 2 things i had in mind when we were lost somewhere. i didnt know where were we walking towards, but i couldnt display myself to be lost or afraid. or maybe i wasnt even afraid. i had the song, your trust to bring u home safely and yan zhen accompanying me. there was no way in the world i would have been lost!! and indeed. such trust has since led to us finding the way back. sometimes, things in the world are not based on intelligence or wit. the best speakers in the world can only do so much to convince someone. the best mappers can only do so much to find their way back when they get lost. its the trust that your fellow companions have upon each other. the determination to want to get home. and the sincerity in wanting your fellow companions to get home more than u want to get home!! believe it or not, roads will change their orientation just for you. and your heart will lead you home.

i had those in me. and i think yan zhen has those in her. and we found our way home...=)

i feel so blessed to have such a companion on this journey. its my 1st companion and my prized companion. in this magical world we live in, faith, trust, sincerity, love, determination, care and concern, is law and governs our daily life. things will change for us, if u believe hard enough.

during the stroll. i must admit there was once my heart flew out. maybe twice. the second time being a guy coughing and i didnt notice. result: me freaking out. freaking out real bad. the 1st? when yan zhen said,' let's elope.' at the grass patch due to build a mosque. i immediately dreamt about building a whole new world JUST for you. where there's no one there to stop us and say 'no'. where things do happen according to our wishes. a place which no one can enter. a place where we will truly call home. free from the vices and sins of the world. no worries, no sadness, just happiness. a place where we can like a fairytale without nothing stopping us and telling us that fairytales do not exist. for it really did in our whole new world. =) and once again. my heart was saying yes. furiously. and my brain says no. reluctantly. until u are ready to really say it again to me sincerely. until then? lets remain as whatever u wanted us to remain as. i'm fine with it. as long as it keeps u smiling and happy. =)

sent yan zhen home and cycled furiously, wanting to catch the wind and see how i feel before i lunge into the fast paced world. and indeed. i feel like a breath of fresh air. although i might have thought that i saw emmannuel along the way home. he didnt look up. so i didnt know either.

reached home and had nice story telling sessions with yan zhen online! so cool. i think we're the 1st to do that. jk rowling should do that for her weekly harry potter reading sessions. do it over msn. have like millions of people in a single conversation window. cool. the little mermaid. lion king. hmmm. nice stories. and went off to bed after that.

today, or rather yesterday. taking a long time to type this. have been typing and thinking over this post since 11.30pm. talked to hozefa about some stuff regarding myself. he wanted to help me as much as he could. appreciated. totally. it was so religious. and i needed help from him for 2 reasons. 1: he studied islam. 2: he has the maturity to think about the possible causes and ways to solve the problem. and indeed, i asked the right guy. and maybe, that dream is to guide me onto a certain path. something i dont know. no one knows. i guess we just have to wait.

and i wonder if yan zhen get home safely already. its already so late and she said her band ends at 12am. hmmm. i wonder.

i need to think about my stuff. before sch reopens. and i need to consult someone professional.

until then.


my heart will lead me home. so will yours...

friend or fren or flen or friends

weird post name. a friend is one that do not hurt u. a good friend is one that hurts u every now and then, and apologises after hurting u deeply. that good friend will feel more hurt than the person supposed to feel hurt. indeed, i am feeling it now.

i feel bad bothering people. esp people i hate seeing feeling sad over me. dont feel sad seeing me in a bad condition.

i said something really bad. i told her that she was in no capacity to care for me. she was just a friend. if she really wanted to care for me... it would be more than friends. u didnt want to take it to the next level. so now u caring for me as though we have already progressed further? and i feel bad saying that. i have deeply hurt u. just as much as i hurt myself. but... its the only way for me not to see u feeling bad over my condition. its my only way to stop u from worrying about me. its bad of me. but i have to do it. i'm really really sorry. if u need a piece of tissue. i can gurantee u that i will fly over right now. i seriously will.

i feel really bad. and with the amount of crap i am going through, i hate to put u through all the pain. i rather take it all myself.

wagers and walking

wagers and walking start with the same letter. its not surprising. at least not to me.

told gordon about everything that happened to me. he suggested that i seek help. at first he asked me if it was just hallucinations. apparently its not. and too many similarities. too many qns. and i decided to solve it my way. decided to make one last wager with the person i have been seeing. i called upon him to make my wager. he didnt appear. i didnt feel his presence anymore. perhaps, he didnt want me to make anymore wagers. just accept what i have and a cursed life. and i am starting to think that this is something to do with my sickness. there is no free lunch in this world. u are given something and they take something from u. in this case, they took my health from me. its just a matter of time before i really collapse. i feel worse and worse with each passing day. somehow in the holidays, its much better. but when i get back to sch, it when all the problems start. i always feel sick in sch. the probability of me feeling sick in sch is almost 98%. something is wrong. really wrong.

walking. after a rough conversation. the most probable way is perhaps to take a step back and reconsider my options. not that i hate what i choose. but that i need time to think is it something right for me or something i am just craving for. and i am giving time for the other party to reconsider. when a person is deeply into something else, there is no way he or she can find the good in others. only always taking things to see their weaknesses. and do comparisons with whatever they like. only to believe more in whatever they like. its the same concept as a mother loving her child. there is no way to prevent a mother from loving her child. she sees her child as an angel. using other children as comparisons to increase her faith in that her child is really an 'angel' bestowed upon her. a mother sees only the good in her child and nothing else. its the same logic. so maybe u cannot see anything good in me now. but soon u will. it just takes time. sometimes time might just be the best remedy. me taking a step back will not affect anything. it only allows me an official ground to think. i never felt that i made a wrong move. u are the one making the wrong move. and perhaps time will guide u back. and until then...

i realised that i have learnt a lot after i have officially 'retired' from any vigourous cca activities. i told myself not to take part in any high profile events. i didnt. and i saw everything. i saw what i failed to realise when i was the one at the top. its good to take a step back. it slows everything down. slowing things down makes people think better. allow them to reconsider everything. i saw through what life has to offer. what life wants to give u. and what life will take away from you.


i have a vision. me=bad guy. i dont want this to happen. but if it really must then i guess i will be the bad guy. and its effects are devastating. a crazy bad guy can do things beyond your wildest imaginations.

Dreams:

I am very afraid of dreams and nighttime now. Really really scared. I need some help. Fast. Some religious help.(even though I am a free-thinker) The complex issues I wont state here. Just what happened. Anyways, even if I state, I don’t think any of u people will believe what I say…

Sat night. A weird and surreal dream. It didn’t seem like anything. At least I didn’t think it was anything. I had a dream about yan zhen. And something happened to her. She didn’t seem happy. She seemed sad and devastated. And after a while, she seemed ok. She started to smile. I saw myself as the person making her smile. Well. It’s nothing right? Not big a thing. What happened to her I wont state. Its her personal issues. And the reason why I wont state is because whatever happened to her in my dream happened to her a month ago. My dream was like history replaying. And I didn’t remember the dream. Until at night, when I wanted to shock yan zhen by showing her that I had found what she wanted. We chatted on msn. And after a bit of talking, she told me what happened to her a month ago. I didn’t realize anything wrong. Until I decided to turn in for the night. The moment when I laid my head on the pillow, everything CAME BACK TO ME!!! I just remembered the dream, and whatever she had told me just an hour ago. Its all true. I was shocked and scared. I jumped out of my bed and knelt on the floor. I think I almost cried. Somehow. Someone had already told me what happened to her and I didn’t take the hint. I was lost for almost 15 mins. Then I made a gamble with whoever it was that made me have that dream. I just couldn’t believe whatever I saw was real. I said I wanted to see my grandfather. The exact same day when he collapsed and was sent to the hospital soonafter. That very day. I want to see what really happened. I wasn’t there when he fainted. I rested my head and slept. After a while, I realized that my eyes were gone. Maybe they were still there but I couldn’t feel its presence. I felt my eyelids pressing into the eyehole. As though there was nothing in the eyehole! I was shocked that my eyes were gone!!! Then I tried my best to open my eyes. And all I saw was a different room. It was my room. But it was significantly different. No guitars, no stuff. It was rather empty. I knew that I was awake. I could feel myself sitting up and looking around in a trance. And then I think I saw a faint character at the door of my room. I was frantically trying to realize what had happened. And then I couldn’t take it anymore and fainted. The next thing I knew was that it was morning and I was awake.

I made a gamble. I lost the gamble. The person who showed me the dreams showed me that he could show me whatever he wanted me to see. Such weird occurrences. note that I need religious help. The person could be someone that everyone looks up to and worships. And… I am someone related to him. I hate it. I hate feeling like a lamb. no.

John F. Kennedy and Abraham Lincoln

I have been studying on the weird concidences between these 2 great man... and hell yeah! i found something that someone has compiled... cool!

Lincoln was elected in 1860.Kennedy was elected in 1960.
Both of their respective assassins were killed before they were brought to justice.
Both presidents had seven letters in their last name.
Both men studied law. Both could write well.
Kennedy won the Pulitzer Prize and many of Lincoln's written works are considered classics.
Both had lazy eye muscles, which would sometimes cause one eye to deviate.
Both suffered from genetic diseases. It is suspected that Lincoln had Marfan syndrome, and Kennedy suffered from Addison's disease.
Both served in the military. Lincoln was a scout captain in the Black Hawk War, and Kennedy served as a navy lieutenant in World War II.
Both were boat captains. Lincoln was a skipper for the Talisman, a Mississippi River boat, and Kennedy was skipper of the PT 109.
Both had no fear of their mortality and disdained bodyguards.
Both often stated how easy it would be to shoot a President. Lincoln supposedly said, "If somebody wants to take my life, there is nothing I can do to prevent it." Kennedy supposedly said, "If somebody wants to shoot me from a window with a rifle, nobody can stop it."
Both received many letters threatening their lives. In the year of his death, Lincoln received over 800 such letters, and in the year of his death, Kennedy received over 80 letters of this type.
Both presidents were shot in the head.
Both were shot on a Friday. In each case, the Friday was one connected to a holiday. Lincoln was shot on Good Friday, and Kennedy was shot on the Friday before Thanksgiving.
Both were seated beside their wives when shot.
Neither Mrs. Lincoln nor Mrs. Kennedy were injured.
Both presidents were in the company of another married couple when shot.
In each case, their male guests were injured, but not fatally. Major Henry Rathbone was slashed by a knife, and Governor John Connally was shot. Both Connally´s and Rathbone´s surnames have eight letters.
Lincoln sat in Box 7 at Ford's Theatre. Kennedy rode in car 7 in the Dallas motorcade. Lincoln was shot at Ford's Theatre. Kennedy was shot in a Ford car; a Lincoln limousine.
Both presidents died in a place with the initials P and H. Lincoln died in the Peterson House, whilst Kennedy died at Parkland Hospital. Military personnel performed autopsies on both presidents.
Both Lincoln and Kennedy were buried in Mahogany caskets.
Both assassins used three names: John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald. (It should be noted that Lee Harvey Oswald was known as just Lee Oswald prior to the assassination.)
There are 15 letters in each assassin's name.
Both assassins struck when in their mid-twenties.
Each assassin lacked a strong father-figure in his life. Booth's father died when he was 13 years old, and Oswald's father died before he was born.
Each assassin had two brothers whose careers they envied. Booth's two brothers were more successful actors and Oswald envied his brothers' military lives.
Both assassins were Privates in the military. Booth was a Private in the Virginia Militia, and Oswald was a Private in the Marine Corps.
Both assassins were shot by religious men; Booth was killed by Boston Corbett, a religious fanatic who castrated himself to "resist sin," and Oswald was killed by Jack Ruby, who, according to some people, took his faith seriously.
Both assassins are considered unpatriotic. Booth supported the Confederacy and Oswald was a Marxist.
Both Corbett and Ruby had changed their names. Corbett's real first name was Thomas, and Ruby's name was originally Jacob Rubenstein.
Both Corbett and Ruby were known as unstable men who were prone to violence.
Both assassins were fond of writing down their thoughts. Booth kept a diary and Oswald kept a journal.
Both assassins often used aliases. Booth frequently used "J. Wilkes" and Oswald used the name "Alek J. Hidell." Both false surnames have six letters.
Both assassins knew of their victims' whereabouts by reading about it in newspapers.
The handyman, bill/poster distributor, and part-time concession operator at Ford's Theatre was Joseph "Peanuts John" Burroughs. The concession-stand operator at the Texas Theatre was Butch Burroughs.
Booth was aided in his escape from Washington by Oswald (Oswell) Swan and Lewis Paine (also spelled Payne). Oswald got his job at the Schoolbook Depository with the aid of Ruth Paine, his wife´s landlady.
Each assassin was detained by an officer named Baker. Lt. Luther B. Baker was leader of the cavalry patrol which trapped Booth inside Garrett's Barn. Officer Marion L. Baker - a Dallas motorcycle patrolman - questioned Oswald on the second floor of the School Book Depository until he learned that he worked there.
Both assassins were killed before they could be put on trial.
Both assassins were killed with a single shot from a Colt revolver. Note: The manner in which Booth died is still debated. It is unsure whether Booth committed suicide or was shot by Union soldiers.
Booth shot Lincoln in a theater and hid in a warehouse/barn, while Oswald shot Kennedy in a warehouse and hid in a theater.
Both presidents were named after their Grandfathers. Both were the second-born in their families.
Before they were elected to the presidency, both of them lost a sister to whom they were very close. Lincoln's sister Sarah died whilst giving birth in 1828, (aged 20), and Kennedy lost his 28-year-old sister Kathleen in 1948, due to a plane crash.
Both married whilst in their thirties. Lincoln married at the age of 33, and Kennedy married at 36.
Both married dark-haired women who were 24 years old.
Both wives (Mary Todd Lincoln and Jacqueline Kennedy) had been previously engaged to someone else.
Both wives were from socially prominent families and both were fluent in French.
Both wives died in their sixties. Mary Todd Lincoln died in 1882 aged 63 years and 215 days, and Jackie Kennedy died in 1994 aged 64 years and 295 days.
Both wives were known for their exquisite taste in clothes.
Both wives were criticized by their husbands for spending money.
Both couples had four children, but two died before reaching their teens.
Both couples lost a son whilst in the White House. Willie Lincoln died at the age of 12 in 1862, and Kennedy's son (Patrick) died two days after his birth in 1963. Of their four children, only one lived past the age of 40. Robert Todd Lincoln and Caroline Bouvier Kennedy. Lincoln had sons named Robert (Robert Todd Lincoln), and Edward. Kennedy had brothers named Robert (Robert F. Kennedy) and Edward (Edward Kennedy).
Both presidents were related to U.S. senators. Lincoln's cousin, General Isaac Barnard of Pennsylvania, was first elected senator in 1827. Kennedy's brother - Edward - was first elected in 1962, from Massachusetts and brother Robert was elected from New York in 1964.
Shortly after his father was assassinated, Robert Todd Lincoln (with his mother and brother) moved to 3014 N Street, N.W. in Georgetown. Shortly after his father was assassinated, John F. Kennedy, Jr. (with his mother and sister), moved to 3017 N Street, N.W., in Georgetown.
Both presidents were related to Democratic U.S. Attorney Generals who graduated from Harvard University: Levi Lincoln, Sr. (under Thomas Jefferson) and Robert F. Kennedy (under JFK).
Both presidents were related to ambassadors to the Court of St. James's (Great Britain): Robert Todd Lincoln served as U.S. ambassador to Britain 1889-93. Kennedy's father, Joseph P. Kennedy, Sr. was U.S. ambassador to Britain 1938-40.
Both presidents were friends with Illinois Democrats named Adlai E. Stevenson. Lincoln's friend Adlai E. Stevenson became the Vice-President under Grover Cleveland, and Adlai Stevenson III would twice run for the U.S. presidency, in 1952 and 1956.
Both knew a doctor named Charles Taft. Lincoln was treated by Dr. Charles Sabin Taft, M.D., who was the half-brother of his son Tad's playmates and who was also chief surgeon at the Judiciary Square Hospital. Kennedy knew a Dr. Charles Phelps Taft, LLD, who was the mayor of Cincinnati, Ohio, and who was also the son of President William Howard Taft.
Legend says Lincoln had a secretary named John Kennedy (or had the first name of David) who told him not to go to the theatre, although no actual record of this person can be found. Kennedy had a secretary named Evelyn Lincoln (whose husband Harold's nickname was Abe), and she warned him not to go to Dallas.
Both presidents were elected to the House of Representatives in '46.
Both were runners-up for the party's nomination for vice-president in '56.
Both were elected to the presidency in '60.
Both had the legality of their elections contested.
Both were involved in famous political debates with men that were better known. Lincoln debated Stephen Douglas in a series of debates in 1858, and Kennedy debated the then current Vice-President Richard Nixon in presidential election of 1960.
Both were concerned with the problems of American blacks and made their view strongly known in '63.
Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation in 1862, which became law in 1863. In 1963, Kennedy presented his reports to Congress on Civil Rights, and the same year was the famous March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom.
In 1964, William O. Douglas and Harry Goldin published books entitled Mr. Lincoln and the Negroes, and Mr. Kennedy and the Negroes.
Vice-PresidentsSouthern Democrats named Johnson succeeded both Lincoln and Kennedy -- Andrew Johnson and Lyndon Baines Johnson. Andrew Johnson was born in 1808, and Lyndon Johnson was born in 1908.
There are six letters in each Johnson's first name.
Both Johnsons were large men.
Both Johnsons were the fathers of two daughters.
Both Johnsons served in the military. Andrew was a brigadier general in the Civil War and Lyndon was a commander in the U.S. Navy during WWII.
Both Johnsons were former southern senators. Both Johnsons entered the presidency in their mid-fifties.
Both Johnsons had urethral stones, the only presidents to have them.
Both Johnsons faced reelection opponents whose names began with G; Andrew Johnson could have run against Ulysses S. Grant, and Lyndon Johnson faced Barry Goldwater in the election of 1964.
Both Johnsons chose not to run for reelection in '68.
Investigations for conspiracy were conducted for both presidential assassinations. Autopsies were done on both assassins to clarify identity. Formal investigations were conducted after each presidential death. In each case, after a number of years, the investigation was reported without really resolving who was involved in the conspiracy.

Blogthings

went to this weird quiz site. saw many quizzes. and liked the simple yet elegant design of their logo. was really random after a super awesome day with yan zhen yesterday.=) so i decided to plonk myself into doing some random quizzes as i checked the viability of that website... not bad a business concept. first u draw in the crowd. then u give little benefits here and there. then u spam the site with ads. earn money like free. :)

and so, here are some quiz results. some are quite lame. and some are quite true. that's why i said the quizzes were weird.

Your Power Color Is Indigo

At Your Highest: You are on a fast track to success - and others believe in you. At Your Lowest: You require a lot of attention and praise. In Love: You see people as how you want them to be, not as how they are. How You're Attractive: You're dramatic flair makes others see you as mysterious and romantic. Your Eternal Question: "Does This Work Into My Future Plans?"

What's Your Power Color?

You Are a Chimera

You are very outgoing and well connected to many people. Incredibly devoted to your family and friends, you find purpose in nurturing others. You are rarely alone, and you do best in the company of others. You are incredibly expressive, and people are sometimes overwhelmed by your strong emotions.

What Mythological

Creature Are You?

Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ENFP)

Your personality type is enthusiastic, giving, cautious, and loyal. Only about 8% of all people have your personality, including 9% of all women and 6% of all men You are Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is

Your Personality?

Who Should Paint You: Alfred Gockel

All American yet funky, you inspire an artist's imagination And while not everyone will understand your portrait, you will!

What Artist Should

Paint Your Portrait?

You Should Rule Jupiter

Huge and hot, Jupiter is a quickly turning planet with short days and intense gravity. You are perfect to rule Jupiter, because you are both dominant and kind. You have great strength and confidence, but you never abuse your power. You are always right. Even if you make mistakes, you compensate for them... before anyone knows it. Headstrong and ambitious, you always have a goal in mind. You are optimistic and believe thing things will always work out.

What Planet Should You Rule?

You Should Drive a Bentley Azure

You're all flash, and you love to show off to anyone who will watch. And you're such a high roller, this is just one car of many for you...

What 2007 Car Should You

Drive?

Your Taste in Music:

Adult Alternative: Medium Influence 90's Alternative: Low Influence 90's R&B: Low Influence 90's Rock: Low Influence Classic Rock: Low Influence

How's Your Taste in Music?

You Are 22 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Your Love Style is Eros

For you, love is all about the passion! And chances are, you're currently in love. You have a strong physical response to love... And you are great at committing (As long as the person makes your toes curl!)

What's Your Love Style?

Your Kisses Are Medium-Hot

Your kisses are definitely sexy, but you're not about to make anyone gasp for air. You take it slow and steady... and you ramp things up when you get the right signals. Your kissing style is adaptable and adept. And people who kiss you love it!

How Hot Are Your Kisses?

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it. That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power! The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism. You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world. Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in. You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you? You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways. Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you. As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

Your Personality is 51% Addictive

You may have an addictive personality, but you have it mostly under check. Just don't start any new bad habits, okay?

Do You Have an

Addictive Personality?

You Are 60% Boyish and 40% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are

You?

You Can Make 72% of Your Crushes Fall in Love With You

Your seduction skills are practically legendary. You know how to close the deal. Just don't let someone you're really into get the better of you! As long as you keep up your end of the flirting game, you'll get the prize at the end.

Can You Make Anyone

Fall in Love With You?

You Play it Cool

You're not in your face, smokin' hot... and it's all by design You have a carefully crafted cool persona, leaving everyone wanting to know just a little more.

Are You Hot?

You Are The Lovers

You represent ideal love: innocence, trust, exhilaration and joy. You demonstrate the harmony of opposites, two sides coming together. At times, you also represent the struggle between what is right and what is tempting. Control is an issue for you, especially when you don't know your reasons for choosing something. Your fortune: You have an important choice you need to make about love, and it will be a difficult choice to make. You are likely struggling between the love you crave and the love that is right. In the end, you will choose what you crave, even if it's bad for you. Because without what you crave, you will feel empty and incomplete.

What Tarot Card Are You?

Your Learning Style: Expressive and Tenacious

You love to learn about new cultures, ideas, and theories. You Should Study: Anthropology Counseling Education Ethnic Studies Foreign Languages and Literature History Literature Music Philosophy Eastern Religion

What Should You Study?

You Are a Natural Entrepreneur

You're creative, driven, and full of great ideas. You could be the next Richard Branson, Warren Buffet, or Oprah. Keep with your dreams, even if people don't understand or respect them. Someday you'll have too much money to care what they think!

Are You a

Natural Entrepreneur?

What Your Handwriting Says About You

You are a fairly energetic person. You know how do pace yourself, and you deal well with stress. You are somewhat outgoing, but you're not a natural extrovert. You think first before you act. You tend to be independent, rational, and logical. You are balanced and grounded. You know how to get along well with others. You need a bit of space in your life, but you're not a recluse. You expect people to give you a small amount of privacy, and you respect their privacy as well. You are a free thinker. You are unique, open minded, and artistic. You don't care what other people think. You are a decent communicator. You eventually get your point across, but sometimes you leave things a bit ambiguous.

What Does Your

Handwriting Say About You?

Your Heart is Feeling Shy

Your heart certainly has some strong feelings, you're just not sure if you're ready to let them show. You could be someone's secret admirer, or maybe you just haven't truly expressed how deep your feelings run. Maybe you're still a little unsure about how you feel... or your unsure about what reaction you'll get. Deep down, your heart is susceptible to: Clamming up and running away from love Your current outlook on love: Introspective and a bit detached Your love life will improve if you: Put yourself out there a little more. If you don't try, you'll never know. Watch out for: Having a one sided romance - you need to be sure you're feelings are reciprocated

What Is Your Heart Feeling?

You Are a Super Flirt

You love to flirt, so much so that it gets you in trouble. In almost any situation, you find yourself flirting - even when it's inappropriate. You tend to embrace all flirting styles too.. from coy to sexy to playful to serious. And if someone flirts back, you'll crank it up even more!

What Kind of

Flirt Are You?

You Are the Very Gay Peppermint Patty!

Softball is the huge tipoff here... As well as a "best friend" who loves to call her "sir"

What Gay

Childhood Icon Are You?

Your Birthdate: September 13

You're dominant and powerful. You always need to be in charge. While others respect your competence, you can be a bit of a dictator. Hard working and serious, you never let yourself down. You are exact and accurate - and you expect others to be the same way. Your strength: You always get the job done Your weakness: You're a perfectionist to a fault Your power color: Gray Your power symbol: Checkmark Your power month: April

What Does Your Birth Date

Mean?

Your True Love Will Find You Eventually

You definitely put yourself out there a little - but you could be doing more. If you're truly looking for love, try doing more things and meeting more people. You don't have to actively look for love, you just need to stay active. Be out there a little more, and the right person will find you!

Will Your

True Love Find You?

You Are 100% Creative

You are an incredibly creative person. For you, there are no bounds or limits to your creativity. Your next creation could be something very great... Or at least very cool!

How Creative Are You?

Your Chances of Being a Multimillionaire: 92%

It's almost certain you'll be a multimillionaire. Just keep doing what you're doing. You are good with money, a creative thinker, and an ethical person. You might be the next Donald Trump!

Will You Be a

Multimillionaire?

You Are Best Described By...

Farbstudie Quadrate By Wassily Kandinsky

What Famous Work of Art Are

You?

You Are 94% Sexy

Your Sex Appeal Is: Off the Charts! Let's face it... you're one of the sexiest people around. And you don't let anyone forget it. You're crazy hot, and you deliver on what you promise. You are definitely one wild ride.

How Much Sex Appeal Do You

Have?

Your Love is Represented by a Purple Rose

For you, love is all about chemistry and attraction. You totally believe in love at first sight. If a relationship is right, you know it from the start. You're often sure of your feelings. And you're not afraid to express them.

What Rose Represents Your

Love?

You Are the Ace of Clubs

You go at everything in your life full force. You are a natural gambler. Your life definitely has some extreme highs and lows, but you know how to ride out the low times. A total adventure seeker, you are never satisfied by what's normal or ordinary. You like to push limits and shock people. You're dramatic, but a drama queen. Your life has been a wild ride so far. You have stories that people can barely believe. And you're probably still young... with a lot of wild rides in front of you. A gamble you should take: High stakes roulette Your friends would describe you as: Crazy Your enemies would describe you as: Demented If you lived in Vegas, you would be: A high roller

What Playing

Card Are You?

You Are A Good Friend

You're always willing to listen Or lend a shoulder to cry on You're there through thick and thin Many people consider you their "best friend"!

What Kind of Friend Are You?

Virgo - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits: You're incredibly thoughtful and able to give your partner what they need most. You are totally logical. You can deal with problems without involving your emotions. A good work ethic. You'll do whatever it takes (within reason) to make your relationship work. Your negative traits: Sometimes you are so focused on your goals that you let your relationships suffer You tend to be a perfectionist - and expect perfection from your mate as well You are picky. So picky that you rather be single than with someone who has a few minor faults. Your ideal partner: Values success in life as much as you do Fits a checklist of qualities you've been looking for since childhood Like you, is more practical and realistic than romantic Your dating style: Active. You're a bit hyper, so you'd prefer a date that involved rollerblading in the park or hiking. Your seduction style: You may seem a bit shy, but once you open up to someone - you're totally uninhibited You like to set the scene first - candles, music, nice sheets A bit obsessed with cleanliness, you may want to shower first with your love Tips for the future: Soften up a little. Vulnerability is sexy - and feels great over time. Lower your standards a little. Look past a messy desk or someone being five minutes late. Praise your partner more. You make expect them to be successful, but complements are still appreciated. Best color to attract mate: Navy blue Best day for a date: Wednesday

What's Your Love Profile?

Your True Love Is a Cancer

Why you'll love a Cancer: Cancer's loyal and sincere heart makes your own sensitive heart melt. Caring and devoted, a Cancer will take the lead in pursuing you - and not give up! Why a Cancer will love you: You're laid back enough to deal with Cancer's little mood swings and freak-outs. A fellow homebody, you know how make Cancer comfortable and at home with you.

What Sign Is Your True Love?

Never Date an Aries

Impatient, restless, and selfish - it's a lot of work to make an Aries happy. And if you drop the ball, your Aries will be gone faster than you can say "I'm sorry"! Instead try dating: Taurus, Virgo, Scorpio, or Pisces

What Sign

Shouldn't You Date?

Your Dominant Thinking Style: Visioning

You are very insightful and tend to make decisions based on your insights. You focus on how things should be - even if you haven't worked out the details. An idealist, thinking of the future helps you guide your path. You tend to give others long-term direction and momentum.

What's Your

Thinking Style?

You Are Lightning

Beautiful yet dangerous People will stop and watch you when you appear Even though you're capable of random violence You are best known for: your power Your dominant state: performing

What Type of Weather Are You?

You've Experienced 32% of Life

You have the life experience of someone in their early 20s. You've seen some of what life has to offer - but you have a long ways to go.

How Much Life

Experience Do You Have?

Your Hidden Talent

You have the power to persuade and influence others. You're the type of person who can turn a whole room around. The potential for great leadership is there, as long as you don't abuse it. Always remember, you have a lot more power over people than you might think!

What's Your Hidden Talent?

Your Mind is PG-13 Rated

Your mind is definitely a little dirty. You're naughty, but not trashy. You don't shy away from a dirty joke, and you're clearly not a prude.

Do You Have a Dirty Mind?

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is medium. In general, you prefer to have only one love interest. But it's hard for you to stay devoted for too long! There's too much eye candy to keep you from wandering. Experience Level: Your experience level is medium. You probably have had a couple significant loves. And you may have even had your heart broken. But you haven't really dated a wide variety of people. Dominance: Your dominance is medium. You tend to be the one with more power. You aren't a total control freak in relationships.. But of course you don't mind getting you way! Cynicism: Your cynicism is low. You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance. No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter. You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate. And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon. Independence: Your independence is low. This doesn't mean you're dependent in relationships.. It does mean that you don't have any problem sharing your life. In your opinion, the best part of being in love is being together.

The Five Variable Love

Test

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are confident and ready to tackle life. You are pretty vain and happy with your physical appearance. You are born to be the center of attention, and you're unhappy on the sidelines. You're always up for trying something new - in and out of bed! If you don't get enough sleep, you: Look like hell It's hard to sleep next to you because: You toss and turn all night

What Does Your

Sleeping Position Say About You?

You Have A Type A- Personality

You are one of the most balanced people around Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you. When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love! You live life to the fullest - incorporating the best of both worlds

Do You Have a Type A

Personality?

You Are Somewhat Mature

You definitely act like an adult sometimes, but a big part of you is still a kid at heart. While your immature side is definitely fun, you're going to have to grow up sooner or later.

Are You Immature?

haha. and now i relac one corner like a maat. with my piano and guitar. =) haha!

Today's the day

I loved today. i seriously loved today! I loved it so much that i had enough inspiration to blog here. if u have been reading here long enough, u should know that this blog owner only blogs when he is full of inspiration. or that he has something he wants to remember and so he blogs about it. or maybe he just wants to blog and feel random... =)

The past few days have been full of construction for me. I feel like a construction worker. a better type though. those type that get paid more... Haha! I have been building miniature buildings. built an angkor wat, falling water, shakespeare globe theatre. the globe theatre had to be thrown away due to lousy construction skills. falling water was totallly superb. i just loved it. i have be looking at my falling water for a long time.

have been looking forward to today for quite some time already. today is supposed to go out with yan zhen. booya! haha. and then came today. was like super excited. =) and then went to sengkang mrt station to meet her at 11. but she late. needed to submit job application. so met her at 11.30 instead. and the funny part is that she smsed me asking me where to meet her. i just told her i was ... ... findable. then suddenly i saw her walking. she saw me also. then like a bollywood movie, she was chasing me around the pillar. i just kept pretending i didnt see her. haha! until finally i turned back and said hi! Then after that, told her that there was something that she liked at the atrium of compass point. so we went there and she was like so amazed. and shocked. and happy. it was like her land. there was the disney princesses items for sale. she looked around happily until she was convinced that there wasnt something that she wanted. then we set off for city hall.

the train was still ok. not that crowded. but we only had standing space. but it was ok. i was ok with standing. talked along the way. she was like asking me about her music practical exams. and about buying the wrong book. haha. reached there then walked some distance to suntec. the shops there didnt look opened yet. so i was like ok, lets go eat first. so we walked from food republic to fountain of wealth, till we finally settled on the fountain terrace food court. she didnt feel like eating, somehow, so she just ate beancurd. and then she quite weird one. she just waited there and smiled. i was like, eat la! she said wait for me first. so i had to buy food too. settled for beef noodles. when i came back, she told me she dont eat beef. religious beliefs. just like my father. he doesnt eat beef either. so i understand. she was like asking me if i am a free thinker. and obviously i am! haha! told her reasons on why i chose to be like that. said that that gave me more freedom to do whatever i wanted. didnt have any restrictions on what i want to do. and still give me the chance to be filial to my grandparents, who are buddhist. and to those people out there reading. my ic got mistake. i got registered as a buddhist. haha! cos last time i waited very long to make ic. whatever the lady asked i just say 'yes'. so she asked if i was a buddhist, and i said yes. tired la. and i made a mistake. not a big mistake though. haha! religion is not important to me. then while having lunch talked about deaths. don't know why so sad. but it just so happened. then the atmostphere became super sad. my fault. shouldnt have brought up the topic. and then she asked me why i seemed to be laughing even when i talking about deaths. then i told her that deaths are like fated. if u are meant to live, u will. if not, u will not live. we cannot stop it. only prevent when it can happen. then i told her the most famous story of all, my grandfather. u want the story ask me. i not typing here. just know that due to my unfilialness, he had to leave this world earlier than he should. maybe its fated. fated to teach me a lesson on filialness. but the price is too expensive. really.

after lunch then went straight to jigsaw puzzle world. and man, the prices are expensive. super expensive. i was like shocked. yan zhen was quite amazed at the high prices that she kept asking me to guess the price. haha. had a great time there. but more was to come. then due to high prices, we had to leave the shop. haha. went to toy r us~ to relive our childish behavior. and then i told yan zhen of the nice japanese restaurant. went there to see how much it costs... and then went to toys r us!!! haha. first thing she took note was the drums. baby drums. then it came to high school musical. haha! yan zhen is somewhat crazy about high school musical and the disney princesses. she very cute right??? haha! spent some time looking at some of the HSM merchandise. then went on to see many other things. saw funny ball. squeezy ball. saw many soft toys that were totallly demanding our attention. both of us were playing with these toys. then after that we went to see more stuff. like board games. then she saw this really innovative pillow. where there are stories behind the pillow. like bedtime stories. and there can only be one reason why she was interested... it was the disney princesses stories. haha. after that we went to play with the funny machine. the guess what u thinking machine. yan zhen thought of something really weird. then the machine couldnt know what it was. it just couldnt guess. it guessed that she was thinking about 'happiness'. but she was thinking about 'sleep'. haha. she was tired. then we gave up on that weird machine and left for esplanade library. she needed to pass her friend, terence, a swimming cap. then along the way, we entered swarovski's crystals, and she was trying to find a euphonium crystal. quite obvious dont have. cos not many people know that a euphonium exists. i know can already. hahaa. after being disappointed at not seeing a euphonium crystal, we went to esplanade library. went there. looked for her friend. then found the friend. after that, she went to say hi to her friend's parents. weird lor. it was like quite weird that the friend, who was going to taiwan, needed a swimming cap to enter the hot spring. then after that, we went to catalog the things we wanted. she couldnt find what she wanted. so sad. but it was cos her instrument quite rare. that's y very hard to find music scores. she wanted the sonata in f by marcello. dunno if i can find it... then she went to try to open a door that cannot be opened... she was like super aggressive, wanting to open the door. when u need a pin to open the door. i was like laughing and saying that it cannot be opened...then i found my rhapsody in blue! yea! will take some time to master it. but should i finish mastering it, it will be super good la! then after photocopying my rhapsody, which took a freaking long time, wanted to go back to suntec for the book fair thing. but because i saw a silver fish flying everywhere outside the esplanade, we went out and sat there together for some time. looking at the city landscape, i asked yan zhen about the ocbc building. asked her where the architect IM Pei left his name on the building. she was like thinking, thinking, thinking.... and then i was thinking also, that at her rate of guessing and not giving up, we could well stay there till tmrw morning. she was like super persistent. then i asked her another question, what is the esplanade supposed to signify? she managed to guess the answer after a uber long time and after many many hints given by me to her. till now, i think she's still saying that it very abstract and very hard to imagine it is signifying that. haha. and then talked a little about the city landscape. gave her the angkor wat miniature thing. haha. that time together outside felt so good. i could look at her for such long periods of time. i was just looking directly at her face and her facial expressions. and i must comment something, her eyes, her eyes can talk! can talk with my eyes! i was like so cool la. i can almost guess what she thinking about... maybe she dont know or never realised! haha! i seriously wanted it to last forever, but the rain didnt want it to last long. had to go in because it was drizzling lightly.

finally, went back to the book fair thing. along the way, i had to try my best to convince yan zhen that the euphonium was special and unique in its own right and it demanded and commanded an important postition in any bands. its important to keep that ego and pride in something u play so that u can play something very well. before entering the place, she was like darting around behind me, trying to prevent me from finding where she was. haha! use my tactic against me! and its cute by the way. the way i did my version and the way she did her version. her version cuter. darting left and right. i was like 'hey yan zhen! where are u?'. she just laughing and smiling behind. haha! walked around. looked at harry potter stuff and files. yan zhen bought 2 photo frames, she got to reshuffle her room so needed a new photo frame. walked round and talked from files to bags to pens to movies to chinese song to funny man talking on stage to chinese books. and to think she said she almost slept reading the mitch albom chinese translated version of tuesdays with morrie. its such a good book. cant stand her! oh ya. then got the chops and stamps thing. she looked like she wanted a stamp. a personalised chop. haha. paid for the photo frames and left the exhibition hall. and to popular, who left the part 'prices shown are already the discounted price' in fine print. nice one! yan zhen got tricked...haha

and then we went on to walk. yan zhen said she needed to eat something. of course la!!! she only ate dessert for lunch. its obvious that she was feeling hungry. went to delifrance to buy some seafood bread and we walked to the fountain of wealth as she was eating. we were like in front of the fountain of wealth and she didnt want to walk round. weird. then after that went to millenia walk. a super class place. and consumer rights! no shopkeeper has the right to chase us out of a shop. haha. so we walked at the high class place like potential shoppers. haha! she told me she dont eat doughnuts after she realised that it was deep fried. and i didnt know it was deep fried. and i dont like to eat doughnuts also. so good for me! then saw watches and i was like super traumatised........ all the expensive watches. like the audemars piguet one. which costs 75000 bucks!!! i didnt want to enter the watch shops. she was like 'the more u dont want to go in, the more i will want to go in!'. and she was like walking closer and closer to the shop and laughing... i had no choice but to follow her in... then we went in and saw watches. she said she could not see why watches are so nice... haha. personal preference lor. then she needed to go the restroom. so i waited outside lor. then there was the music. it was like very nice! i didnt want to leave the restroom corridor. she was like the music very nice also. but in the end, we dragged ourselves out of the corridor.

walked back to the mrt station. talked a great deal. she told i was like a councillor of some sort. cos she said i had the energy. aand i was forced to remind myself of the nice scip times at tj. haha. and then there was the soup kitchen, where both of us were commenting on the niceness of the ginger chicken at soup kitchen. we were like its the first time we actually ate ginger. cos it was like so sweet. and then on the way back from millenia walk. also told her last time i bought licorice from candy empire. then i had to finish the whole bag cos my family dont eat. she was like licorice quite nice what! and finally, i found someone who also finds licorice nice... =))

yan zhen felt that i was complaing of my sch... indeed i am. and she felt that i was thinking too much into everything. need to lighten up and dont think. ok then. will not think too much. but if there are times that need to think i will think... =)) i'm sorry if i bored u up!!! really. next time talk about u. dont talk about me...

then was trying to convince yan zhen to go for the dvc get-together. she seemed reluctant to go. so i said i will be quite disappointed if she dont go. hope she will come. but if she really cannot make it then nevermind also. she also very busy. then almost missed the outram stop. yan zhen was like, 'isnt this our stop?' and i was like 'oh ya'. and after that, she has been laughing at my shocked face. and i can vaguely remember me trying to hold on to yan zhen and pull her out of the train. cos quite crowded. and i never quite held onto yan zhen... then after that, we went to her bus stop outside compass point. waited with her for the bus to come. taught yan zhen how to keep awake. quite scared she will fall asleep on the bus... then waved bye to yan zhen and i left for home. viva la walk home!!!

and yan zhen's been coughing the whole time. very worried for her. really worried. still thinking if she's ok... hope to see a uncoughing yan zhen on sunday. haiz.

and this is all i can recall for now...

and oh ya... i didnt managed to tell yan zhen this. that i really wished that i could be with her longer. and that it felt weird without her smsing me... really. like a part of my life is different.

and also, maybe one day i can perform with yan zhen. she can play the euphonium and i play the piano... dream duet!

until then.

SMSes

this will be along post. i guarantee it will be... confirm :)
full of smses i got from people around me. notable ones. not willing to delete em. but until i get a smart phone. will have to type em out as memories and delete from my phone... :(

21 July 2006
John Zheng: Hi John here, can u help me apologise to warren abt today?
Warran: K. Tell him yea it's fine n tat im cool with him too
John Zheng: Thnx alot

31 July 2007
Steph Chiang: its okay. i know sch is tiring.. ive seen my friends. ok jiayou then. we can meet next time perhaps =) takecare

22 August 2007
Joanna Kam: U have the lyrics for the ice kachang song?
Me!: U want me to sing for u?
Joanna Kam: hahas. Jus wanna ask e lyrics.. Lol.
Me!: Oh. Take very long to type. U sure u don't want me to sing for u? Anyways. Here goes...
Me!: U are my ice kacang. In this tropical heat. U are my favourite dessert. (Oooh la la!) So inviting so sweet. Would u like to bo bo cha cha? Would u like to dance with me? For u are my LOVE!!! My ONE atta chi! Something i like to eat :)
Me!: Oooh. So mushy one ask me to sms u the lyrics...
Joanna Kam: Hahas. My class might need for the booth. Haha.. So funny funny. Lol. U sing for daryj.. U know my class de? A bit gay but.. Hahas.
Me!: Then:) i must come to see your class booth. Must see how they mutilate my song. Then i go there and do the real thing. With actions and all. Oh ya. The song got actions u know right?
Joanna Kam: U show Daryl right? Lol. He'll teach us.. Haha... See how lo. Hee.but thanks..

30 August 2007
Me!: I think i saw jesalyn on the bus home. She looked quite stunned to see me in MJ. So funny sia.
Shi Jie: Lol. But she live in hougang lei so coincidental
Me!: I stay in sengkang:)

3 September 2007
Me!: Hey my beloved house capt!!! Happy birthday! Sorry i didn't know your birthday early. I checked my mail late. To make up to u...I shall dedicate a special song!
Me!: (The Ice Kacang Song Again!)
Shi Yun: xD thanks la! retarded haha, thank you thank you! xD
Me!: Din know u virgo also. Haha. Hint hint. Can't believe u smaller than me but u older then me.

11 September 2007
Kay Fong: O opps. Early happy birthday then

13 September 2007
Eugene Koh: Yo dude...happy birthday! Are u touched that u rmbr ur bday...lol
Me!: Something!
Eugene Koh: Hahas nvm...next time i see u confirm treat u taupok
Me!: Something!
Eugene Koh: Erm okae...i try creating some special stuff for u to enjoy lahs

and a lot more. i am dam tiered.

better be home soon

i dont know what title should i give. so i just gave the name of the song i listening now. nice song btw...

end of a crazy week. full of gay nonsense. had even more gay nonsense at mr you house yesterday. watched i pronounce you chuck and larry. full of gay crap. totally gay. and also had a long awaited goodbye to glen, who has since the start of the week been trying to gay me. he has since proclaimed many times, proposed many times to me. to think there would be people in the world who would go to such great lengths to try to propose and get accepted and glen just simply proposes to me every single day as thought proposing is like eating lunch or dinner or something.

mr you house was uber full of stuff. wonder how much is his power bill every month. judging from the amount of power he uses just for that day we were there at his house is shocking enough. and there was this touch sensitive switch to turn on and off lights. i got a bad electric shock from that. and derick was with his ipod touch, with pokemon in it! but i must say i had a super long day yesterday. morning was at pasir ris park. then went to megan's house. and a tiny conversation made me realised how fortunate i am. i saw the epip-tree. realised everything. and worst of all. i brought megan's birthday present with me and i forgot to give it to her. was in a hurry to leave for my class. haiz. what a forgetful person i am.

was raining almost everyday last week. and it just rained here at my place now. bu i guess wed night was the craziest. stayed out in the rain overnight. but lucky i had safi at my station. both of us like some crazy people lying down. praying for the rain to stop. complaining. trying to get at least an ounce of sleep. but didnt sleep. nitewalk ended at 5.30. after that got a tiny nap of bout 30 mins. cos also needed to clear up the place. had prate delivered. cool man. delivered prata. and went off to tao nan looking like a dead rag. only when i reached home at bout 9.00pm or 9.30pm then did i really fall dead on the bed.

because of my forgetfulness. i made a trip down to megan's house this morning, dropped her present off and left. left my house only about 30 mins. thks to the smallness of singapore.


i want to go out next week. i wonder if u will say yes...

GAY

on the first day of knowing a kid. i got kissed, hugged and groped all over.
it sounds sick. but its true. lets hope i dont get gayyed again.

my class today all came and ganged me. they were all crawling,groping, touching. yane knows. he saw me and just walked away with the resigned look.

stupids stupids. how come i didnt know that sian ying is chris saw friend??? omg. i was like stunned. when she told me. i was stunned. and then. she was like saying that this girl in her class is all so cute. i must admit that she looks overgrown. she looks like a sec 3 or 4 while she's only p6. i was shocked. stunned. and worst of all, sian ying called her bro up to introduce the girl to him. i was stunned.

then yesterday tried to send something to yan zhen. was waiting for a dang long time. so took the chance to msn shi sang. she happened to be online. and so sad. she wont be online today. she got camp. i must say yesterday was the ultimate. so many unique catchphrases. so many quotes. she compared me to thomas edison and claimed i was the inventor of lame jokes!!! i was stunned. i copied the whole conversation into microsoft word and realised that it was about 23 pages long!!! wth! talked so long... and worst of all, its all crap. still got the part when she told me to stay at the beach. then at the same time, both our responses were because we were crabs(craps!). damn lame la. somemore dang accurate. the same answer came up at the same time. then still got the wikipedia thing. she said that i seem to like wikis. so i said i dont. i like her! that was lame la. my fingers type faster than i think. so sometimes, i might type wrongly without i knowing what has happend. and to the people out there. i dont dislike her. i think she's great. but i dont think i have that thing for her. so... haha. go figure.

met nikeeth today. he changed quite a bit. i was shocked. taller than me now. and also met with mr liang. itc new teacher.

what a crazy day.

HAPPIE BIRTHDAY!

alright. today is a really special day. not for me. haha

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YAN ZHEN! and u are officially one year older! continue to stay pretty and have that wonderful personality with you wherever u go! its really wonderful!!! i found it wonderful!!! haha!



i couldnt have done dvc so well without u. kudos my bestest partner!

5th day of work

what a emotional 5th day it should be. i dont know if the rest felt it. but i think i did. maybe they were still having the positive mentality that we will meet again one day. i hope to meet everybody one day too.



shall start in chronological order then. reached at about 7.50am. waited for yan zhen to come. she came a little late but i guess it was alright. cos it would not have made much of a difference. we would still need like tons of time to complete writing all the personal notes to the students. thanks to yan zhen for printing the papers. i am sooo sorry i couldnt have done it. my printer at home is always spoiled. i always need to ask my friends if i need to print something. so once again. sorry. then started writing the notes when she came. she wrote like quite fast. i took a long time. and no thanks to yan zhen who keep peering over to look at me stunning for something to write, and laughing cheekily when i continue to stun. i rmb that i could only return the smile. what to do... i take a long time to think what to write. soon after, it became massive repetition. after writing some, we decided to go down to the assembly area to pick the kids up. and guess what. along the way down, the same scenario happened again. only this time with shi sang. at the same blindspot staircase. and guess i learnt my lesson. shi sang and i almost bumped into each other. thankfully both of us were walking. not like the previous time with yan zhen. when both of us were actually running. as usual, both shi sang and i were exceptionally shocked at this encounter. i must say i more shocked. cos, it happened to me the second time in 2 days. and as usual, yan zhen just laughed it off. and later, back in the classroom, the boys started to play with yan zhen, touching her and shouting molest??? wth is happening to the pure kids we used to have?!?!!! i had to stand behind her to stop them from touching her. while she continued to write her personal msgs. some hu hua shi zhe! then she finished writing all the msgs while i had 7 left. then i continued writing with her peering over cheekily looking at me. smiling with a broad smile. aiyoh. i write slower than u also want to laugh at me? hahaha.


went to class soon after and realised something was amiss when i saw grace gave somewhat like a birthday present to yan zhen. went to camp commandant room to check it out. then i realised that yan zhen's birthday is tmrw. suddenly felt very bad towards her. ok. had to do something. pronto. presto. vivace. called up chia hau to nick a present for me along his way to tao nan. never really expected that he bought a cake?!?!?!?! freaking imba la!!!! cake??? too extreme right? but i still managed to pull it off! haha! so exciting. told ms a it was yan zhen birthday tmrw, then told her i had bought a cake already. she was like super shocked. cake??? she gave me that super uber ultimate stunned look. and she exclaimed, ' u full of surprises ah?' haha. what a surprise. i guess i caught everyone by surprise. even the admin people, ms herda was shocked. thanks to chia hau, i managed to give yan zhen a pretty surprising birthday surprise. it was a nice cake btw. asked bertha and grace to follow me to the camp commandant's room to collect the cake and sing birthday song later on. and in the camp comm room i was super malu la. when everyone was present those 2 pesky girls had to exclaim loudly somethings!!! cos ms herda and siow pheng was asking me why got birthday cake one. so i had to say it was yan zhen birthday the next day. but those 2 pesky girls exclaimed loudly,'he buy the cake for his girlfriend! yan zhen jie jie is his girlfriend! that's why he buy cake!' i just stunned there. in front of everybody? and she's not my girlfriend. at least not yet. haha. then yan zhen cut the cake at the canteen and gave the cake out. left a tiny piece of cake so yan zhen and i shared the tiny piece. no saliva sharing ok!!!



then the timothy incident. haiz. i dont like to scold people. especially in raising my voice. and if u know me, i am generally a very patient and kindly person. should me get angry, it will be something nobody will ever want to see. i get too horrible when i get angry. too HORRIBLE>! timothy was simply too aggressive. he had this 'i-want-to-fight-u-and-win-u' kinda look. he kept challenging people, in this case, me. and worst of all, he resorted to shouting and using violence to solve everything. it is definitely not something i needed to see in kids. not when u know they can still be nurtured into fine young adults. boys to gentlemen. girls to refined ladies. and most of all, violence cannot be USED to SOLVE PROBLEMS! not when my mother is one who will keep highlighting to me the importance of not using violence to solve problems. for it does not work this way in the world. he was kicking jamie. and jamie was retaliating. and there were harsh tauntings, with neither wanting to back down. it was not the first time i saw them fighting. it was almost like the 4th or 5th time already. the first few times, i just let things go. i thought that they were just playing and this needed no extra attention. but it didnt seem so and soon it turned ugly. and when i tried to control timothy down, he was shouting at me, taunting me and challenging me. he was too hot-headed at that spur of time and nothing could be used to calm him down. so i resorted to the most extreme method. i shouted fiercely at him, using his tone against him, letting him know what he is doing now.(screaming and shouting at me aggressively) this, i felt was the most possible way to stop him. he seemed a little afraid. everyone around me seem afraid of me suddenly. yan zhen came up to me and told me to calm down. but i knew what i was doing. soon after, timothy realised what he was doing and calmed down. 1 simple logic: when people are too angry over something, they will always react to the first possible response as thought of in the brain. they will not think over to see if the response was a correct response. and in timothy, i saw myself. a younger myself. always challenging to win. and i just got enlightened yesterday by myself that there are no losers in the world. only winners and losing winners. and as i have mentioned once in one of my older posts, i cannot bear to scold or shout at someone. for after shouting, i will cry. its kinda weird. but tears never fail to find their way to my eyes.somehow.i knew exactly what was needed to cure timothy, just as what my parents did with me. it worked. towards the end of the day, timothy seemed a much better person. he actually apologised to jamie during another outburst with jamie later in the day. it might not have been his fault. but he started to realise that sometimes, a simple sorry will solve everything. and if a simple apology can solve everything, then why not? perhaps he saw the light when i apologised to him even after scolding him. apologised to him after my terrible outburst. he saw the power of a simple apology. i was really really really proud of timothy. he grew up. hope that he will rmb all that i have taught him. that of violence and aggression, none can be used to solve problems.

and to yan zhen, i guess u might have been afraid and scared of me. but i did it only in extreme measures. u should know that i am not such a person. for i really am not such a person. i like u, love kids too.

another person i am very proud of would be paul. he has grown up also. he too realised his mistakes in using vulgarities against people. he actually also apologised to another person for using bad words against him.

and boy, this week has been super fulfilling. changed the lives of 2 boys. hope that they will be be like me. always taking the harshest route to realise my own mistakes. haha. i really lead a wretched life.

performed the FUN song for the leaders' item. although it was just 4 lines, we managed to stretch the time the item lasted. thanks to some nice emceeing skills and psychological understanding i have. haha. and also showed off some imitatin skills to the fellow leaders. and i realised that i was the most childish leader there man. i am the only person who watches spongebob squarepants!!! man. i really childish. just as kay fong said. i never really grew up. in the end, also kena sabo to perform the item. haiz. life is hard as life is. i entertain people for a living. took a few photos with some of the campers. haaah

then went for debriefing. sat next to yan zhen and yan ming. a lot of crap from the teachers. like got 1 guy teacher ask for special food as compared to the kids. and also some lousy suggestions for lousy food. its like super unhealthy the teacher said it was good? they spammed oil and its good? then got another teacher say she used a method to keep the kids quiet. by saying that she will leave the classroom if the kids do not keep quiet. then yan ming started to laugh. cos, in our schs, should the teacher say that, we will gladly let the teacher leave and then got free period. had a nice little chat with yan zhen while they were debriefing. haha. slacking. she damn funny la. put a plastic spoon on the weighing machine and guess what??? it recorded almost 0g of weight. wth?! and i stared at her with the lame look. and she was surprised that i knew where she stayed. haha. cos towards the end of the day, the kids all came up to us for our details. including email and add. and man. yan zhen stay really close to me. she should have told me where she stayed. then i can go with her to tao nan. she must have been bored along the way there everyday... and soon after, we walked outta sch. and we said our goodbyes so lightly as though we were gonna meet again. i dont know... its seems kinda weird.

read the letter yan zhen wrote to me. she forbid me to read it in sch. ask me go home then read. and so i obediently listened. and man, thks for the letter. u really over praise me. u are the better one. i loved every moment with u. without u, i would have been very much lost. like i mentioned before, i seem to have a lot of chemistry with yan zhen. she knew what was the next move i was gonna make and i knew the next move she was gonna make. an example would be that of the orchid flower plucking. we were plucking the flowers and needed to count them. and without a word spoken between us, we arranged the flowers in rows of 5s. it was almost like a miracle. i wanted the flowers to be placed in rows of 5s. either i knew that she wanted to arrange it like that or she knew i wanted it arranged like that. without a word spoken. it was done. such strong chemistry. and that's exactly one of the reasons why i liked working with her.

some notable issues throughout the week. people started to call me gay when i wore a pink shirt on one of the days. oh noz. i became a gay for the day. cos they kept calling me that. what a scandal!