201

the 201st post marks a great time. i actually managed to compose up almost 3 songs.

that's like kinda a big achievement.

and i forgot to pen it down.

200th

this marks my 200th post. nothing much to say really.

been in kinda a daze for the past few days. partly attributed to me figuring some things out. and also partly attributed to me feeling faint and dizzy.


the singer, songwriter, producer will be back at work...

sadly, i dont really like the feeling of blogging on my 200th post.

kinda marks that i am rather old.

right!

dont believe what ah huat says. true love dies.

trust me.

because i am right


and you're left.

to put it simply...

i rather be love-less...




and ironically, just after i came up with the resolution on what i will do, i ate the precious moments fortune cookie my GP teacher gave on V day.

and guess what i got on the note written inside...
'Love Brings Understanding'

oh wow.

how ironic.

i don't trust myself with loving you.

i don't trust myself with loving you.

i really dont.

just like that John Mayer song.



i came up with a resolution with myself. i realised that i cannot go around seeking for love like many do. my heart wanes too easily. too easily.

to prevent a world catastrophe, i decided not to seek for love. meaning: i do not even attempt to chase after the girls that i may fall for.

i don't trust myself with loving you. really don't.

unless a girl comes up to me and tells me that she really loves me or something like that, then maybe...

i rather the other party hurting me than me hurting the other party.


i found the answer to ben lim qn... i dont have a gf because i wane too easily.

its really better for me to follow my resolution.

single=1.

i like 1.

its a prime number.

little wonders

Let it go, let it roll right off your shoulder,
Don't you know, the hardest part is over, let it in,
Let your clarity define you in the end,
You will only just remember how it feels.

Our lives are made, in these small hours, these little wonders
These twisted turns of fate, time falls away,
But these small hours, these small hours, still remain.

Let it slide, let your troubles fall behind you, let it shine,
Till you feel it all around you,
And I don't mind, if it's me you need to turn to, we'll get by,
It's the heart that really matters in the end.

Our lives are made, in these small hours, these little wonders
These twisted turns of fate, time falls away,
But these small hours, these small hours, still remain.
All of my regret, will wash away somehow,
But I cannot forget the way I feel right now.
In these small hours, these little wonders, these twisted turns of fate,
All these twisted turns of fate, these twisted turns of fate
Yeah, times falls away
But these small hours, these small hours, still remain.
They still remain, these little wonders, all these twisted turns of fate
time falls away, but these small hours, these little wonders
Still remain.


there's something in that song that's really familiar. or rather i think it applies to me.

Let it go, let it roll right off your shoulder,Don't you know, the hardest part is over, let it in.

definition of selective memory loss:
A form of amnesia, selective memory loss is a rare side effect of head injuries when the victim loses certain parts of his/her memory. Not much is known because this only results when certain areas of the head are traumatized. Common elements that may be forgotten: relationships, special talents (eg: juggling, whistling, instrumental talents, etc.), living area, abilities in certain areas (eg: a new gymnast forgetting she can not cartwheel yet), and events such as concerts, shows, traumatic events (eg: a death/suicide of a loved one or attempt on ones own life). More research is being done into elements that are forgotten and what areas of the skull must be traumatized to cause SML.

i think i got injured the past time i play soccer. i fell to the floor and momentarily lost conscious for a few seconds.

i blanked out...

selective memory loss

i cannot remember the people that i knew before. their face keeps appearing in front of me but i just cannot remember who are they. i also have the number of some unknown people in my phone. maybe i knew them before. but i cannot remember now. i have some empty things in my memory. some lapses here and there. but i just cannot remember what goes there...

i think its just selective memory loss.


i seem to like prime numbers now somehow.
1,2,3,5,7,11,13,17,19,23,29,31,37,41,43,47,53...


there's something really special about my posts these days. if u can find out, then i must applaud u. its not really easy to find it...


told u there was something different. congrats. sms me. i will applaud u.

Valentine

i spent an awesome valentine's day with my guitar and my biology spa notes...


Stevie ray vaughan, Jimi Hendrix, John Mayer

emcee

my first shot at emceeing something...

it didnt turn out that well.

i dont want to blame others. no point. what good will it do?

i would rather blame myself. and maybe learn something from it.

technical faults. problems with the contestants microphone. slow response time of the personnel on stage. and lousy planning. and that just shows the importance of rehearsals for every event.

i seem to be typing in chunks. i dont know why either.


it was a rather crappy session. taking on account that i had to rush through the quiz answers to make the thing less boring. so i think i just make a list of what i did right and what i did wrong.

things i did right:
1) i tried my best to cover in for any time lapse.
2) i tried not to take too much of the limelight from my other co-emcee. But in the end, i still took a lot of the limelight.
3) i tried to change my tone of voice every now and then. and perhaps this is my STRONGEST point. being able to drama my voice out.
4) i smiled
5) i remained calm despite the technical faults
6) i managed to quieten down the audience at a moment. and i could feel that they wanted to hear what i said, which was a boost. thanks to my dramatic voice.

things i did wrong:
1) i didnt give enough limelight to my co-emcee. but cannot entirely blame me, cos i tried my best to bring her in. but. she didnt take the chance.
2) i forgot about the answers being shown on the sides of the hall, lack of rehearsal and not enough details given to me from the teacher.
3) i didnt have enough filler sentences for the lime lapses. i said till i have nothing to say.
4) bad placement of myself on stage.


and i will just have to wait for ms gill or ms koh to commment on my performance. will strive to improve upon their comments.

i told myself not to believe in predestined luck again. both bad luck or good luck. what i know is that luck is created by those who want it. just like how man utd treated tottenham to an extra time draw. they didnt have luck that day. so they created their own luck.

i failed to create my own luck today.

an overall disappointing day. with everything not going well in my first emcee assignment. the teachers upon looking at my performance must be smiling all the way to the bank. thank god this assignment is small, and even if this guy(me) screws it up, its just a minor thing...

i knew i was in for crap and a dry session when i got my assignment. i smsed ben tan immediately, and the contents of the message was:'i got the worst crap assignment of all the assignments. either the teachers think i am a total goner and give me some nonsense, or they must think i am David Copperfield, able to magically create something spectacular out of nothing.'


but the most heartwarming thing of all was that i managed to get the j1s to listen to what i was saying. i could see them looking up at me wherever i spoke.

maybe i have stage presence, like some people say.

maybe i have a drama voice, like many people say.


i dont know who's joanna kam. her face keeps popping up in mind. but i cant seem to remember who she is... i only knew what her name was from the yearbook. and i dont know why i have her number on my phone. i cant seem to remember who she is... i think i knew her before. i think.